Monday, November 15, 2004

Pieces of April/ Letter to my Daughter

This is a letter I wrote to my daughter after we saw the movie, Pieces of April  together.   

 Just want to have your feedback about the movie. I like it because it depicts a realistic portrayal of real family dynamics. The mother-daughter trials and tribulations, sibling rivalry, racial issues, generation gap, and the works. I know you saw the movie differently. You might even saw it as a sort of my feeble attempt to dissuade you from being independent.  

Are you April? In some ways, yes.  In a lot of ways, no.

How are you like April? Like her, you have the outward signs of youthful rebellion: piercing, dyed red hair, punk inspired attire, and devil-may-care bravado. You have her open-mindedness as far as respecting people for what they are and who they are.  You eschew the societal hate of people that are different.  You are also full of angst about your relationship with me. And the similarity ends there. 

 What makes you different from April? First, I think you are smarter and stronger than she is and has the determination to succeed in life. I think you are reflective enough to redirect your life when situations proves to be unhealthy for you. You keep your jobs and seems to be serious about pursuing a college degree. You do not to rely on someone to make things happen. You are capable of supporting yourself instead of sucking the life out of someone to augment yours.  I think that is the reason why you attract weak people. Opposites attract. Because they want to be strong as you are or they can feed off you until they find the next strong person they can latch on to. Second, you gave me and still giving me a lot of good memories. The bad ones are very few. I shuck those to youthful indiscretion and experiences you need for your personal growth. You are a person who have to live it to know it.  I realized that my ranting do not hit home until you go out there and experience it. I will never hate you or hold ill feelings towards you. I merely bring out history for present and future perspective.  Lastly, you are not a failure nor a disappointment to me. After all, I named you Jessica, " rich and successful," because I know you will live up to it. You are a young person who is trying to figure out who you are by gatheringpieces of thepuzzle that one day will be "YOU."  I visualize you as a very successful, traditional, and old fashioned adult.  Is that bad? No, it isn't. Someday, you will clarify your values and most possibly go back to those that are familiar and comforting.  I see you going back to church and doing it cafeteria style: picking what you like about it and ignoring the ones that gives you cognitive dissonance. By that time you will know that you can personalize your religion and you do not have to subscribe to every doctrines and dogma. I see you leading a happy and productive life with means to afford the life you want live.

 I love you and I always will.

Mom 

2 comments:

chatzeekay said...

oh its heart felt and warmth truley

bojgill4375 said...

I will keep you in my prayers. Out of all the comments on my daughters blog I related to you. I am allowed to view her bog, but I can not comment.  LOL  My Granny use to say... "When kids are little they step on your toes; when they are big they step on your heart."  Have you ever heard the saying??... "There are 3 sides to every story... your side, my side, and and the right side."  I do believe in my God enough, that things happen for a reason. I just have to put my trust in Him and live the way life is flowing. I have even written a poem to my daughter but she may never see it. I called her 3 times and sent love emails... but she did not answer any of them. I have 4 gospel songs on alight house .com.  I even sang at the nursing home yesterday; gospel songs.  In my prayers and thank you for your prayers for me , Janie