Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Going out of Town

I am really anxious today. I am doing my countdown to the day I'll be going to Virginia to train for my job. I'll be gone from my family for three long weeks. I'm already agonizing over the seperation. I'll miss my husband and my kids so much, it is going to be really hard on me the first few days that I am away. This is the first time I'll be away from them for an extended time. I can't even remember a time when I am away from them for more than my work hours.

My husband said, "Treat it like a vacation." Easy for him to say that because he is a road warrior now and had been in the military. He got used to being deployed for several months in the military and living on a suitcase/hopping on flights in his new job. This is totally new to me. I always stayed behind to raise my children, go to work, and take care of the household stuff.

I am worried about my children. I hate the idea of leaving them because their father won't be home either. Though my daughter is in college and is fully capable of looking after her teen brother, I have my trepidation.Will they eat right? Will my daughter pick her brother up from school on time? Will my son go to bed early and make it to school on time? Will my daughter take care of her brother's school uniform so he will not look like a hobo? Questions ad nauseam. I know, all these are trivial. I also know that the bottom line is: I dread losing control over my children's daily life. I do not like the thought of passing my responsibilities to my daughter. She has not done anything like this before. Two teenagers home alone!  A lot of negative thoughts swirling in my mind right now. Parties, cops, and evil stuff. But I guess I do not have much choice. I would hate to lose this job! Besides, I trust my daughter and my son is pretty independent. That does not make me less anxious, I am stressing like crazy right now..   

1 comment:

chatzeekay said...

I am sure your kids will be behave they need a chance to prove themseleve through adult hood. Anexty I can relate to that. Stress and all the other stuff.. Good luck on your job thing and remember you can do this breath ....