Friday, December 14, 2007

VAYA CON DIOS

 
 
I have not been here in a while.
 
A phenomenon called LIFE took over my blogging time. I accomplished a great deal of things that are important to me during my disappearance and some are still in progress but I am not here to showcase my achievements. I am writing an entry because sleep is eluding me tonight.  
 
My once grounded existence had been shattered by my mother passing away. She passed away peacefully in her sleep last night.
 
I now feel like I am floating in a surreal world. I am not in touch with my feelings. I am in a cloud of numbness. I cry constantly but yet I can not grasp the emotion that precipitates these tearful spurts. I am supposed to be sad. I know how sad feels but I do not feel sad. I do not feel anything. I am perplexed by the tears streaming on my face. I have no control over them. My brain refuses to access the files where my mother's memories are stored. I have no focus. My head feels like it is stuffed with cotton. My mind does not want to operate to its full capacity. Something is very wrong with my brain chemistry.  
 
This is so new to me. I did not feel this confusion when my father and my older brother died.  With their passing, I was more accepting.  After I let a out a good cry, I was able to reach closure and enjoy the great memories I shared with them.
 
I am bone tired and weary. I want to sleep. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel like me again.
 
Somehow, I feel like I will never be the same again. I am puzzle with a piece gone forever.  
 
I am a babbling mess.
 
I do not want a pity party.  I am grasping every straw to keep my sanity intact right now. Writing this entry is a selfish endeavor. I am trying to do something that will help me sort out my situation.  Writing has a calming effect on me.  
 
Coherence is not my purpose here. I am merely aiming for mental clarity.  

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Checking In

                                      Earth Angel

                         

I just bought the folk art painting above from a very talented artist named Angela. I love it because the subject reminds me of my daughter. My daughter has a big heart and always tries to save the world. I love the painting so much that I asked the artist to paint a similar one on a bigger canvas so I could give it to my daughter.

A lot of people do not like naive art because they are very simple and the artists who make them usually do not have professional/ academic art training. The creators of primitive art are most often self taught so they do not attain widespread popularity like professionally trained painters. Grandma Moses comes to mind when fame in folk art is mentioned but nobody else. Most folk artists only attain regional acclaim so not a lot of people from outside their regions knew who they were.

Some people call folk art "working class art." Some turn their noses upward on folk art collectors. Since it is not considered "fine art" or "high art" by most art collectors, some primitive art collectors hide their passion for it to save themselves from derision.

I am not afraid to admit that I love folk/naive/primitive art. I can appreciate art in various forms and styles. I have been in a lot of art museums in the United States and abroad.  I have been exposed to the work of the famed old and new masters. The reason why I like folk art is not ignorance or provincialism.  Visually, I like folk art  for its simplicity and often vibrant hues. Psychologically, I love it because it reminds me of the my mother. She drew with me and my brother when we were young. The subjects in a lot of primitive paintings are also very similar to the anime characters that my daughter and son drew when they were in their teens. Economically,  the price of contemporary and vintage folk art is still very affordable so I can buy to my heart's content without breaking the bank. 

There you have it. I love folk art and proud to admit it.

 

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Carpe Diem!

                                   

 

If

Rudyard Kipling (1910)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run--
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And--which is more--you’ll be a Man, my son!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

YOU'RE THE MAN!

               HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

                   

 

High from the earth I heard a bird

                                                       Emily Dickinson (1896)

High from the earth I heard a bird;
He trod upon the trees
As he esteemed them trifles,
And then he spied a breeze,
And situated softly
Upon a pile of wind
Which in a perturbation
Nature had left behind.
A joyous-going fellow
I gathered from his talk,
Which both of benediction
And badinage partook,
Without apparent burden,
I learned, in leafy wood
He was the faithful father
Of a dependent brood;
And this untoward transport
His remedy for care,—
A contrast to our respites.
How different we are!

You are the best FATHER ever!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Summer Lovin'

101 Reasons Why I Love Summer: Flowers, flowers, flowers... (repeat flowers 98 times)  

 

10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM GARDENING
 
1. SUNSHINE AND RAIN MAKES ONE PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FIT.
2. FEED BUT DO NOT OVERFEED.
3. SOME WEEDS AND WILDFLOWERS GROW UP TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND BENEFICIAL.
4. SHARE YOUR BOUNTY. THAT PESKY SQUIRREL USUALLY GOES AWAY WHEN HE HAD HIS FILL.
5. WORMS AND BEES ARE YOUR FRIENDS.
6. TAKE CARE OF THEM AND THEY WILL THRIVE AND PRODUCE.
7. MUSIC IS GOOD FOR EVERYBODY AND ANYBODY.
8. NO CHEMICALS, PLEASE. 
9. TO EACH HIS/HER OWN.
10. GARBAGE IN, ORGANIC AND HEALTHY PLANTS OUT.