My Baby Turns 14 Today

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday, J!

Yup. My baby turns 14 today. I am happy but also saddened by the fact that he is growing so fast!

He won first prize for his Science project yesterday. The project is about which skateboarding bearings are faster. He owes some of the ideas from his brilliant sister who pretty much did an excellent didactic approach in telling her little brother about velocity but he put a lot of work on his board and on his written report. I was amazed at how my children take to scientific concepts like ducks to water. Yup, I'm bragging again but I can't help it.

 

Happy Days Are Here Again

Got this yesterday. I need my picture taken. Funny, I take pictures of other people but I am not very enthused about someone taking mine. Can I be like the Phantom of the Opera? I  like to be mysterious. I like my anonimity in this journal. Should I shatter the illusion? 

Hello!
 
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You Know You're Addicted to  AOL Journal When...

 

If you can't access the site, you have a minor freak out - and a major case of hitting reload.

You found yourself composing journal entries during dates, movies, even at work (during breaks, of course)!

When you're out, you suddenly thinkof a witty reply to a comment somebody made to you... several days ago.

You've downloaded AOL Bot program which has only the purpose of making entries easier to write without going on the site manually.

You consider it a great offense if someone deletes your Journal off their Favorite Site  list.

The first thing you do every day when you go online is check your Journal - even before checking your email.
 
When your friends ask what's new, you get mad at them because you already wrote it in your J and they didn't check it yet.

You have put more time into J than all your housework.

You have more friends on J land than in real life.

You can't seem to call your friends by their real names - only J names will do.
 
You have posted about a party or get together on your J... and random strangers showed up.

You've written a private  entry about one of your J friends. (Extra points if they eventually found out about it)

You have written posts to notify people you're going to sleep.

You talk about your J friends to your real life friends all the time... like they're a part of your group.

You've created a J community, and people actually post in it.

You've been recognized in real life by a fellow J'er.

You have befriended someone because of their  Journal  pictures.

You have "pity friends" on your list, who you would defriend if you could.
 
Instead of doing housework,  you post pictures of it  on your Journal.

Your pets all have their own AOL Journals.
 
You've stopped being friends with someone in real life because of something they've said on J.
 
You have consoled yourself after a horrible day thinking "At least this will make a great J post"

You're jealous of people who have more friends and / or comments than you.

You have written a really great, solid post - only to be disappointed by the lack of good comments.

You're guilty of commenting excessively to get more traffic to your journal.

You've deleted a post a few minutes (or hours) after you've written it, because it seemed lame in retrospect.

You give shout outs to all your J friends on their birthdays.

You have an additional, secret journal that hardly anyone knows about.

 You have gotten mean anonymous comments (bonus points for figuring out who it was via their IP)

You've been reported (or reported someone) to  AOL J Abuse.

You've been featured on  AOL J’s   Editor Picks.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are J addicts.

You Know Who You Are

I must be from Florida because I get these and I actually laughed out loud about some of them because they reminded me of some people and  events I treasure.  

 

You Know You're From Florida When...

You use "fix" as a verb in this context: "I am fixing to go to the store".

You know what "cow tipping" is.

You find 100 degrees F "a little warm."

You know the four seasons as: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop ... it's a Coke, regardless of the brand or flavor.

You own at least five pairs of flip flops

You know someone who's been struck by lightning

You're more scared of the freaks who live down the street than gators

Your backyard is sometimes a swamp

You're officially sick of Disney

You shrug off hurricane warnings

You've been permanently blinded by fat men in speedos

There are only two seasons - hot and hotter

You've drank a flaming alligator.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Florida.

Life is such a Paradox

We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.  

Anais Nin
US (French-born) author & diarist (1903 - 1977)

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are.

Anais Nin
US (French-born) author & diarist (1903 - 1977)

 

These quotes are reminder to parents. Parents are sculptors. They carve their children's images. They try to teach their children norms, values, virtues and other good things to know hoping that these children will grow to be good, solid people. Parents often get disappointed with their children because their children grow into people that their parents did not expect them to be.

One of the hardest thing for a parent to realize, especially the mother, is children can not be molded in their likeness (they have minds of their own) and that there is a thin line between parenthood (motherhood) and co-dependency. It is normal to wish your children success in life, to dream that they will be professionals someday, and to be protective of them when it is warranted but it is not normal to live vicariously through them and be disappointed when they do not meet your high expectations. Knowing when to let go of them and when to hold them is easier said than done but it can be done.

Children should be able to make their own mistakes and be able to learn from them. Micro-managing children make them co-dependent.  It makes them afraid to make decisions because a lot of the decisions in the past had been taken care of for them. Parents should know when to start making their children responsible for their judgment.

Children should be able to pursue their dreams with their parents' support and blessings ( So what if they change their minds every month? Be supportive. Tell them to reach for the stars and be all they can be!). Most parents dream of having a doctor or a lawyer in the family. Alas, not a lot of children want to be a doctor or a lawyer anymore. Some want to be engineers and others want to be animated movie producers. Just tell them be the best engineers or producers they could be. If your children did not turn out the way you want them to be, love them anyway. They need it and if you can be honest to yourself, you know you need to love them and you need their love too.

*****What about the picture? It does not make sense, you say. What does raising children have to do with a lake and tree canopies? Nothing. Yup, it has nothing to do with my entry above. My husband took it last week when he was in Lawton, Oklahoma. He loves to fish and take pictures of places he visits. He is a road warrior. This picture reflects my husband's interests as well as his personality.  That is another journal entry, so I will leave you to ponder on what I mean by that.***

 

Apple Of My Eye

This is my son. He is a looker. He is also very smart. He grows in leaps and bounds. I can't help but feel very old when I look at my children. Yup, they make me feel like a proud old woman all the time. I can't believe that my son is taller than I am now and he is just in middle school! I believe I'll look like a midget next to him when he gets to highschool. Enough of my bragging (though I think you would too if you have children).

One More To Be Thankful About

This is a picture that my daughter and her bestfriend had taken during her Thanksgiving trip to Baltimore, Maryland. They had it printed on T shirts with the caption ,"God help our children."  They both have killer sense of humor and seem to be happy and comfortable with each other. They attended the same highschool for four years. They are now going to different colleges but still very fond of each other. They always joke around about getting married after college.  I think they are cute together. They are both very smart. I think they will have beautiful and smart children if they ever get married and decide to procreate. I am too young to be a grandmother so I am hoping that they will not get serious about a relationship until later and that they will hold on their horses until they both have their college degrees.

Everything is in Flux

If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are. For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained. Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.

Saint Augustine
Carthaginian author, saint, & church father (354 AD - 430 AD)

There is always room for improvement in someone's life. It is natural to feel displeasure about where you are in life. One needs to examine life regularly and find out what one need and want at that period.

Everything is in flux. Including needs and wants. One needs flexibility in life above all. One should not be afraid of changes for they are essential part of life and living.

Contentment makes one stagnant. Most creature want comfort, stability ,and status quo.  As St. Augustine said in the quote above, "where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained."  Contentment has a way of making one complacent.  Who would want to leave a comfortable and stable environment?  Not many. He admonishes that one have to "keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing."  He wants everyone to leave their comfort zones and keep growing.  Growth is a change that everyone needs. One can stunt their growth by resisting the changes in their life. Other people in someone's life can also inhibit the growth of an individual, like an overprotective mother who will not let her child explore the world. 

I want to explore this subject because I am an overprotective mother. I have come to terms with a lot of issues involving my daughter's independence but there are still some that remains.  I realized that she needs me to gently push her out of the nest so she can explore the world with my blessings but somehow I still get really anxious about her going away from home.  She needs to add experiences to her life, to walk where she has not walked before, and to advance to the next level of growth.

She went to Maryland to spend Thanksgiving with her bestfriend and her bestfriend's family. This is the first long trip she had taken on her own. I was a bunch of nerves before she left. I can tell that she was very nervous too. I think partly because I unloaded my fears on her before her trip. Thank God that she is a very optimistic and resilient child. I talked to her last night via IM and on the phone today. She seems to be fine where she is.

I like it that my daughter has a sense of adventure. I admire her courage in leaving her comfort  zone. I am glad she is assertive and willing to take chances. I am happy that she is always willing to take a step toward maturity and self reliance.  I am delighted that she seems to instinctively know what she needs and wants at each stage of her life. I am proud to be her mother.