The Benefits of Growing Older
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. It's harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick.
4. No one expects you to run into a burning building.
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
7. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service.
8. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
9. Things you buy now won't wear out.
10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
11. You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
13. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
15. You sing along with elevator music.
16. Your eyes won't get much worse.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19 comments:
are we having fun yet? i forget.
I loved this entry!!!! soooooooo true!!! lol
Carlene
Thanks for the laughs. This was great. I'll have to send it to my mom! LOL
dave
http://journals.aol.com/ibspiccoli4life/RandomThoughtsfromaProgressiveMi
Very funny!
Those were exzcellent, and so true.
My wife can always tell in the morning when I wake up, cause after I get out of bed and start walking, my knees crack and pop.
It is Hell getting old.
Funny list! :)
Okay...this is funny! But are they benefits? I'm not so sure...I don't want to get old. :)
Michele http://journals.aol.com/samnsmile5/lettingitallsinkin
these are cute! Hope your having a beautiful day.
Derek
Hee hee! I loved these!
lol!! I enjoyed that :)
http://journals.aol.com/bigred3392/TracysAwesomeJournalofAwesomenes
Your kids are old enough to have kids AND there's nothing grander than being a grandparent. You really do get to have fun with the kids and when they're tired and cranky . . . "Bill, your daughters need you!!" LOL
That is so true about holding your tummy in. It just falls by the wayside . . . literally!
Cyndy
oh to cute saying hello my journal on the fritz
I've been quietly reading for awhile, waiting for the right moment to respond. Yes, this is the right time... but... ummm... errrr... but I forgot what I was going to write.... Oh yeah, Oscar Wilde is one of my favorites, and The Benefits of Growing Older is a knee-slapper (not my knee, mind you, don't want to hurt myself). Finally, I feel validated!
Thank you for your kind words in my journal. Enjoy your beautiful day.
Best,
Judith
http://journals.aol.com/jtuwliens/MirrorMirrorontheWall
Ain`t that the truth! [smiles]
V
Too funny (and a little bit sad!)
~Very~ Cute Journal You Have! Way To Go! Very Creative I Like It Alot. I Just Started My Own Not To Long Ago...Plz Post Coments If You View Thank You So Much!
Oh I loved those. Especially number 8, that must mean there is an end to the middle :o) Thank you for the smiles this morning!
Rebecca
These are all very funny, but I especially like #17. Sadly, they are also very true! Susan
This one I love!
And just a side note to your question..yes, it's the new Grisham, and I don't buy them in hardback either. Borrowed this one from my boss' husband, he keeps me in reading material. Likewise, you will be put on my alerts
Tammy
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