Thursday, March 17, 2005

My Daughter: My Heart and Soul

 

 Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them.  They move away.  The moments that used to define them-a mother's approval, a father's nod-are covered by moments of their own accomplishments.  It is not until much later that children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon stones, beneath the water of their lives.

                       Mitch Albom, five people you meet in heaven    

 

The excerpt above pretty much encapsulates my thought about your yearning for independence. It is hard for me to let you go. It is painful, as if a part of me is being torn away. I miss you so much when you are away but I understand that this is a part of your individuation. You need to move away in order for you to know and trust yourself.  I understand that you need the sense of accomplishment that comes from doing things on your own. I also understand that you still love and  need me but on a different level. You still want my guidance but you do not need me to tell you how to live your life. You want to learn how to live by experiencing life.  I trust you and I believe in you. I know you will make mistakes along the way but I am confident that you are smart enough to know what is healthy and beneficial for you. I will always be here when you need me. I do not want you to think that I can ever turn my back on you. Do not mistake my silence for not caring. I am merely letting you direct your life without my meddling.   I love you and nothing can change that. I support your search of your identity and your pursuit of  clarity/definition of your own personal beliefs, values , and morality.  I also believe that once your outlook in life is healthier, you will also be physically healthy. Stress can ravage your body. Keeping healthy company and staying away from dramas will make your life less stressful. I was a mess  when I was your age because I took care of everybody except myself. I also pushed myself to the limit through sleep deprivation and unhealthy indulgences.  I know how it feels to wake up with aching body. There were times when I was not even able to lift the blanket off me. I pitied myself for a while and got angry with the world but that attitude only made me feel worst physically and emotionally. I started getting better when I started listening to my body and stopped being a superfriend. I realized that I needed as much help as I was giving out. I needed to help myself first because when I was a physical and emotional wreck, I was powerless and unable to help anybody.  Take care of yourself and you will be healthy enough to take care of others. Love yourself and you will have more love to share. I love you and I miss you so much. I can't wait to give you real hugs and kisses.   Mom   

20 comments:

my78novata said...

great letter Lori

mom23nca said...

What good advice.

samnsmile5 said...

Very touching and beautiful!  
Michele
http://journals.aol.com/samnsmile5/LettingItAllSinkIn

lindainspokane said...

once again u have brought tears to my eyes with this letter to your daughter...i dont know if u notice but i made a jpg of the line u wrote several entries ago and use it at the end of each of my entries...("you are not letting them go you are letting the grow" and have it signed with your email address...i want credit to be given where it is due) it is the best thing i hvae ever heard and have to remember it almost on a daily basis...i am having such a hard time with my kids growing older...i know it wont be long until my daughter moves out and i dread that day...i just wish theyd stay little kids always :-) much love to u...and thank u so much...

linda

http://journals.aol.com/lindainspokane/LifewithLinny
http://journals.aol.com/lindainspokane/LinnysLuciousLickings

jcole16757 said...

Beautiful letter to your daughter!

derasta said...

So heartfelt and beautiful....

http://journals.aol.com/derasta/ADayInTheLife/

tendernoggle said...

Beautifully said!
CArlene

chatzeekay said...

Great entry bravo hats off to you well done. Iwish my mom and father would be like your statement it would make my life better

ryanagi said...

What a great entry and attitude. I wish I had something like this to show MY mom back when I first went out on my own. :-)

belfastcowboy75 said...

Splendid sentiments. You don't have to be old to be wise.

karensull12 said...

This is beautiful.  There is nothing harder than letting go...

cneinhorn said...

just beautiful...I loved that book too (where the quote is from) and what a nice photo you put up!

~JerseyGirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl

deveil said...

Beautiful entry, your a great Mom, this is one of my favorite books

Derek

deabvt said...

Aww, I`ll bet your daughter is proud of you.
V

hope5555 said...

What a beautiful entry and moving tribute to your daughter - thank you.

judithheartsong said...

beautiful. judi

hadonfield78 said...

As the old saying goes, once you become a parent, your a parent for the rest of
your life. My oldest is only 15, and she will probably be leaving for college in 3 years. I tell myself that I will be ok....
But I think when the time comes I will be crying as much as my wife.
She might be 15 right now, but to me she is still my baby girl.

madmanadhd said...

First, thank for visiting my journal and leaving a comment.

Our son, the "baby" has recently moved away and he wiggles and nestles into our everyday conversation before we even realize it. We worry and fret and imagine the worst while hoping for the best. Whoever said parenting would get easier as our children got older must not have had them move too far away. What a touching tribute to both your daughter... and YOU.

loannh said...

I thank you for this journal writing today.  It's Easter, and it hits home, leaving me bare so deep within.  My daughter stopped talking to me two years ago Easter.  I truly don't know what is wrong.  I am 60, she is 41.  Your writing touched my heart.  Lois

justaname4me2 said...

What an amazing, beautiful, heartfelt letter to your daughter. Simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with us........
Rebecca