Hierarchy or the Trickle Down Effect?

 

My husband sent this to me via e-mail. He said it is their organizational chart.

***The FTP ate my picture!!! GDY AOL FTP!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!! 

My Not So Little Ones

I have not added an entry in a few days. Life had been a little busy. I was not able to go to the beach until today and I only went there because my son had to do a photo essay. He chose Edgar Allan Poe's, Annabel Lee, so he wanted some seaside pictures. We went to Pensacola Beach and he took some picture of the ocean and I did too. This little outing was wonderful because we had a chance to talk at length. He is still "bummed" by the fact that he did not get the lead role at the upcoming play at his school. He got the understudy for it and a guitar/vocal solo. Not good enough for my ambitious son. I had to tell him that he have to move on to more important stuff because he had been sulking about this lost role for a couple of days now. I love my talks with my son. He is still at that age where he is very honest about everything. I will miss our talks when he stops telling me about his disappointments, hopes and fears.

My daughter is home with a couple of college friends. They all have a long weekend off from school because of the Martin Luther King's holiday tomorrow. It is hard not to play Mom to all these kids because I know that they look like adults on the outside but they are really kids on the inside. All of them graduated from highschool last year. Last semester was their first time away from their families and their homes. My daughter tells me that I "baby" her friends. I admit to that. I do become a very hospitable host to her friends because I like these kids. They seem to have their heads where they are supposed to be. They are very intelligent and respectful. I am pretty sure that they have wild, rambunctious sides but they respect my home and my values when they are visiting. I love hearing them laugh and see them joking around.

 I like it that my daughter seems to be happy and have healthy relationships but I miss our time alone. She always have someone in tow when she comes around. I miss the days when we can talk about everything and anything. I understand that she is at the age where her peers are very important to her and I often scold myself for feeling left out in her life. I know she needed me at a different level now but I can't help but reminisce about the days whenI am her sole confidante.

My children grew up and my role in their lives changed. It was hard for me in the beginning to shift gears. I kept hearing my inner voice say, "But it is so comfortable taking care of all your needs. I want to be your hero. I want to save your day. I don't like being relegated to a guardian angel status. I want to do it all for you!"  I am learning how to keep that inner voice calm and quiet now.  I am acquiring another one who seems to be older and wiser. "You are not letting them go, you are letting them grow," it says.

I got a feeling I am not in Florida anymore!

 

Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.

 

Henry James, British (US -born) author (1843 - 1916)

 

As I am making the rounds in J Land, I found that melancholy is prevalent among J Landers these days. I myself was melancholic for a couple of days.  Is it the post holidays funk? Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)? Is it situational depression? Oh,  the causes of that pesky feeling of not wanting to get up in the morning and not wanting to see anyone are endless! Sometimes finding the cause of my depression makes me even  more depressed. 

There are days that I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. Disoriented and confused about my surroundings because I am suppose to be in Florida yet it is cold and dreary outside. I chose to live in this state because it is suppose to be the Sunshine State. Some days I feel like I have been duped.

Today is an exception. I woke up at 6:30 AM to bring my son to school and by 7:00 AM the sun is trying to come out behind some clouds already! I had this urge to do the happy dance but my children had asked me politely not to do it again because it scare the bejesus out of them. I think I am going to go to beach today and take some pictures. Happy days are here again!

Hope those of you who are not feeling great for whatever reason, find something to be happy about. Have a great week!

Helping the world? What about those in your own backyard?

I received a lot of good comments regarding my dream of  joining the Peace Corps but I also got some e-mails that in summation want me to rethink my dream of venturing overseas to help out  because a number of  Americans needed as much help as those in third world countries.

There is a lot of truth in that. Some Americans in inner cities are as poor and hopeless as the people of the third world. I am aware of  it  because I've been there and I met a lot these people.

I was helping the poor, cold, and downtrodden people of North America for a number of  years. I was once a social worker, a case manager, a child welfare investigator, and a mental health counselor. That is all I wanted to do when I got out of college. I made it my mission to give back the blessings I received by serving people. I enjoyed my social services jobs but I needed to venture out of the system and explore other career possibilities. I am still helping in every little way I can though I am no longer a public servant.  

The difference between living in the United States and a third world country is that the US has the welfare/social services system to help its residents. There are a lot of national, state, and local agencies: private and public, which owe their existence to serving people's needs. Most third world countries do not have social services system. They rely on international organizations such as the Peace Corps, Red Cross, and United Nations to help them out. Most international organizations provide tangibles such as food, clothing, and money but the Peace Corps provides intangibles such as expertise, education, opportunities, and skills/vocational training. I like to think of their paradigm as   "not giving fish but teaching one to fish."

Joining the Peace Corps will be my reward. It is something I can do when I retire from work. Something I will enjoy tremendously because I love helping empower people through education and awareness.

In conclusion, I can notplease everybody so I might as well do what I want!

 

Getting There

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, The Road Not Taken
US poet (1874 - 1963)

 

The dark clouds are slowly lifting off. The melancholy dissipating. All I needed was action. Instead of getting angry, I walked the talk. I did something about what I thought was the root of my unhappiness. I helped with the Southeast Asian relief efforts the only way I can, with my pocketbook. I really want to go there and physically help but I have a family. My family needed me where I am. I also wrote a letter to our local paper's editor about my feelings regarding the headline news that I ranted about on my last entry. Last but not the least, I rewrote my five year plan to coincide with our youngest child's high school graduation. 

I told my husband long time ago that once our children are out of the home, I would like us to join the Peace Corps. Right now that dream may be realized in about four years. Our son will be in college by 2009. Though my husband has reservations about going overseas and living without the creature comforts he is accostumed to, he said he will go if that is really what I want. He is a gypsy like I am  and I know he will love it when we get there. One thing that my husband and I always agree about is traveling. Being a retired sailor, he had seen the world and at his present job, he is a road warrior and travels all over the country. His company is suppose to send him to Europe next month. I am always ready to go somewhere. I had been in a lot of countries in Asia and a lot of states in North America, including Hawaii. My dream is to eventually visit at least one country from all the continents. Two out of the way, and five more to go!    

Think Positive: Mantra for 2005

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.

Martha Washington
US wife of George Washington 1759 (1732 - 1802)

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

William James
US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 - 1910)

Change your thoughts and you change your world.

Norman Vincent Peale
US clergyman (1898 - 1993)

Things do not change; we change.

Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1970)

 

 

Feeling melancholic for the past couple of days. I have to seek inspiration in the words of sages to lift my spirits. Ergo, the quotes above.

I do not watch a lot of television but I read our local newspaper daily. Why does it seems like the headlines are always depressing? Suffering people in Southeast Asia, someone getting murdered, another casualty in the Middle East... It is very seldom that I encounter a human interest article without violence and with substance. I began thinking that it is probably an outcome of my present disposition. Or is it because stories that are touchy-feely do not sell newspapers or boost TV ratings anymore? Are we becoming a sensationalist nation? 

Pardon my musings. I realize that the last two sentences might not settle well with some people in J Land. I am just thinking out loud, trying to make sense of the senseless parody called "groundbreaking news" now-a-days.

New Year Reflections

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just reflecting on the events of 2004. In light of the devastation Mother Nature had dealt on people of Southeast Asia, I feel blessed to survive the wrath of Ivan. I am grateful to all the people who helped our community rebuild. I remember getting teary eyed after seeing linemen from Canada trying their best to restore electricity in our town. I also saw relief workers from everywhere around the country doing anything they can do to ease the loss and the pain of  my town's residents. I am thankful that my town is located in the United States of America where the relief efforts are almost instantaneous. Lives had been spared because of the concerted efforts of many public and private agencies.

I love the picture above because it embodies the spirit that my town had during the holidays. Ivan was the Grinch who threatened our Christmas but like Dr. Seuss' famous book's Whos, my townpeople and I realized that Christmas was about the intangibles. 

May everyone of you have the best year ever!