Gulf Coast Dee's Diary - Please Peek!

Just Checking In

2009-06-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

I've been slacking for some time now. I have not forgotten about you all.
I am just busy with my non virtual life.
To update you with what is happening with me: I went back to graduate school and graduated last month! I am now interning at an IT company, studying for an IT certification and applied for more post graduate education for Fall 2009.
I'll try to catch up with everyone as fast as I could and will find time to blog more often.
Just saying "HI" to everyone!

2009-01-23T11:46:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday!

You're an old man but I love you anyway. I love you more as years go by. I want you to survive me because I can't think of ever living without you by my side. I am getting cheese-wizzy in my old age but I mean every word of it.

2008-12-15T09:48:00.000-08:00

"Cookies are made of butter and love."
~Norwegian Proverb

It is that time of the year when baking takes precedence over house cleaning in my household. My father in law requested baklava and cookies for Christmas. That signaled the open baking season. I dusted off the baking pans and opened my mother in law's gift. She got us a Kitchen Aid Professional Mixer and said, "Bring it home and use it to make "THE" cookies. You will thank me when you do not have to do all the mixing and kneading." I do not have the heart to tell her that I use my primitive baking implements (bowl and my hands) because that is where LOVE comes from. My mother in law also gave me several pounds of pecans so it will be the main nut this year.

I am sorting out my recipes last night and I thought about all the people I fed my cookies to and their favorites. I was grinning like a fool, reminiscing about my cookie memories. One memory I treasure is when my kids were small and they came home with their friends for milk and cookies after school like clockwork. I used to be a baking maniac on steroids. My cookie jar is always full and kids in the neighborhood knows that they can always get cookies at my house. Now my kids are grown and milk and cookies are not one of their priorities anymore. I only bake now-a-days for the holidays and a few special occasions.

I still get into the "zone" when I bake. It is like meditation. My senses are heightened and I feel blissful. The feel of the batter in my hands is glorious. The buttery aroma wafting from my kitchen is wonderful. The brown cookies and the colorful frosting and sprinkles makes me smile. The products of my labor are delicious. The butter and love reeks from their pores.

2008-11-06T13:52:00.000-08:00

An article I just read proclaimed this:" I am not rich but I want for nothing. I am adequately housed and fed. I am well traveled and loved."

What a beautiful passage and how apropos for me and for a lot of people who are worried about the US economy. At least for now, I have a roof over my head and some food. I cry for people on foreclosures and those that are unemployed and hungry.

I listen with heavy heart to stories being told about the 1929 stock crash which precipitated the Great Depression. I do not want to spread gloom and doom but there is a possibility that our present recessionary status could slide to a full depression. I am praying fervently that it will not happen.

I guess what I am doing here is counting my blessings and reflecting on what I can do to help others in dire straits. Tears are good but action is better.

"Use it up. Wear it out. Make it do. Do without."
Jan DeBlieu, Less is More, Southern Journal.

Name Change and Blogspot

2008-10-01T11:06:00.000-07:00

I am a tad disconcerted about AOL Journals closing its doors.

Though I am not a frequent journaler, I have met a lot of wonderful people through J-Land. It is my second home where I can go when I am feeling joyful or sad. It's like that bar on the "Cheers" TV series.

I changed my journal's name in anticipation of the blogspot migration because I know another J-Land journaler also have my old journal name.

I signed up for Google and initiated a blog there. Here is the link if you are interested. http://gulfcoastdeesdiary.blogspot.com/

I am quite confused as to the migration process. I have another blog that I started for my kids with memories and recipes and I do not know if I have to create another blog to have that migrated too.

Here's to one and all: Cheers!

TO: You-Know-Who-You-Are

2008-09-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values. "

~Ayn Rand, US novelist (1905 - 1982)

I was driving to the airport today and this song came on the radio. It made made me smile and I thought about you. This is our song, remember? I miss you and I love you.

Dad for 22 Years and Still Kickin' A$$!

2008-06-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to the Best Dad Ever!

L-O-V-E!

2008-05-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life. That word is LOVE."

~Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)

US Economics

2008-05-14T09:55:00.000-07:00

"An economist is a surgeon with an excellent scalpel and a rough-edged lancet, who operates beautifully on the dead and tortures the living."

~Nicholas Chamfort (1741 - 1794)

Thank you, Mike, for the graphics!

The Mundane

2008-05-10T16:35:00.000-07:00

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises."

-Erma Bombeck

Hubby: Why is Paris Hilton on the cover of National Geographic?

Me: Because she is a party animal.

All I Want For Mother's Day

2008-05-09T11:40:00.000-07:00

My advice to you is get married:
if you find a good wife you'll be happy;
if not, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates (470-399 B.C.)

Hubby: You know what to do. My seven sisters' roses need it. I know you're jetlagged but Home Depot is just around the corner. (Please!).

Kids: No iPod or Zune (I can't even find my cellphone most mornings!). Just download my music and send it to me or put it in CD(s) so I can listen to it on my laptop. Why did I put this here? Because I know you little rascals read my blog!

Mother's Day Invitation

2008-04-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

I am taking my family this weekend to see Anita Renfroe, a phe-Mom (genius, witty and wise), who somehow filled the void that Erma Bombeck left. Check the You Tube below with her singing Momsense Song to the tune of William Tell Overture.

This entry is dedicated to all my friends who are MOMs for real and those who are MOMs in spirit.

I invite you all to my house on May 10th for a "Southern Belle Style High Tea." No hoop skirts required, come naked if you want but hats and gloves will be de riguer. Bring your twangiest accent or fake a British accent. I am concocting a surprise menu. Do not flinch, this will not be one of the "Bayou Nights" party I throw where I serve some bizarre stuff like nutria stew.

(This is the edited version. I learn something everyday. Lesson learned the day I wrote the original entry: Though riesling and blogging rhyme, they are not compatible. Typos and grammar lapses result from the combination.)

Life Changing Lecture

2008-04-10T06:01:00.000-07:00


"Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
: ~Edgar Allan Poe, "Eleonora"
US short story author, editor, & poet (1809 - 1849)

(This is Dr. Randy Pausch's "Last Lecture" video. He is smart, funny and awe inspiring. He is dying of pancreatic cancer. Check out his website at: Randy Pausch's Home Page )

To my daughter who dreams to be a math teacher, a biomedical engineer, a writer (oh, the agony of choosing a college major!)...

To my son who wants to be all of these: Doctor of Medicine, Broadway playwright, actor and director, Hollywood screenwriter and musical scorer, Disney Imagineer, poet, songwriter, fiction writer, and musical composer (among others)...

Follow your dreams and live them!

Aloha, Josh!

2008-03-24T17:56:00.000-07:00

In Loving Memory

Joshua Kalai Nakata, 23

Mililani, Hawaii

May you rest in peace.

You died doing what you loved most, surfing the North Shore's banzai pipeline.

I remember you jovially teasing Gary as Jessi walked up the path to your house carrying an Easter Basket. I remember your Mom "borrowing" Jessi because Gary will not go to his football practice not unless Jessi was there . I can still hear you and Chaz giggling and chanting, "Gary has a girlfriend!" at the back of your Mom's van when Gary came with a Teddy Bear and flowers for Jessi when we got in a car accident.

I feel for your Mom and Dad, Belinda and Gary Senior, for I would not like to survive any of my children. I wish I could hug Gary, Chaz and Rose, your brothers and sister, for I know their hearts are breaking.

Aloha! Hope the surf's up always where you are.

Live Your Dreams!

2008-03-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

"There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia to-day, flesh and blood tomorrow. "


: ~Victor Hugo, Les Miserables, 1862, French dramatist, novelist, & poet (1802 - 1885)

To my son, an Anglophile, who can't wait to go across the universe:

You have my permission to explore the world whenever you decide to do so. I will miss you so much that I will be filled with anxiety for your safety and well being while you are away but I will get over it.

Writing this may be premature because you promised me that you do not intend to live in England until you get your college degree. I guess I am concerned about your plan of going on an European trip. Though I know you have a record of making good decisions, your great passion for English artifacts and culture scares the bejeesus out of me.

You got it here in writing. I will never hold you back and will support your decision whatever it is. You can't take me with you but you can take my unconditional love in your heart. I do not have to write it but I will anyway: I love you more than you'll ever know.

Mom

Love is...

2008-02-22T02:03:00.000-08:00

"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal."

- C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves

Three Years Ago.

Me: Why do you push away those who love you the most?

Her: I do not know.

A Week Ago

Me: He adores you. Why do you push him away?

Her: Because I am scared.

Me: Scared of what?

Her: Scared that I am not the person he thinks I am. Scared thatI will be a burden and a hindrance from achieving his goals, ambitions, and dreams. Scared that he will have to give up something he loves because of me. Scared that I could die young and leave him confused, angry, and lonely.

Me: Have you discussed this with him?

Her: No. I am scared to.

"Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood."
-Kahlil Gibran

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

Since you're away and I can't buy you your favorite flowers, here's the virtual equivalent of giving them to you today. Someday, I'll take you to Holland and buy you all the tulips you'll ever want in your lifetime!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hear Me Roar!

2008-01-30T08:22:00.000-08:00

I am Woman

by: Helen Reddy (1972)

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
'cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
'cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

CHORUS

I am woman watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my lovin' arms across the land
But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to I can face anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman
Oh, I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong

FADE
I am woman
I am invincible
I am strong
I am woman

The Secret?

2008-01-09T07:22:00.000-08:00

I read the book, The Secret. It is touted as "life changing."

I like the book so I also watched the movie. That was a waste of time because the movie is the book, verbatim. The only thing added in the movie is the visual.

There's no secret in The Secret. The book renamed Peale's and Carnegie's concept of Positive Thinking and called it Law of Attraction. It's a mind over matter theory.

I found a short clip of the book's concept on YOU TUBE and I thought it is share worthy. Watch it and tell me what you think.

VAYA CON DIOS

2007-12-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

I have not been here in a while.

A phenomenon called LIFE took over my blogging time. I accomplished a great deal of things that are important to me during my disappearance and some are still in progress but I am not here to showcase my achievements. I am writing an entry because sleep is eluding me tonight.

My once grounded existence had been shattered by my mother passing away. She passed away peacefully in her sleep last night.

I now feel like I am floating in a surreal world. I am not in touch with my feelings. I am in a cloud of numbness. I cry constantly but yet I can not grasp the emotion that precipitates these tearful spurts. I am supposed to be sad. I know how sad feels but I do not feel sad. I do not feel anything. I am perplexed by the tears streaming on my face. I have no control over them. My brain refuses to access the files where my mother's memories are stored. I have no focus. My head feels like it is stuffed with cotton. My mind does not want to operate to its full capacity. Something is very wrong with my brain chemistry.

This is so new to me. I did not feel this confusion when my father and my older brother died. With their passing, I was more accepting. After I let a out a good cry, I was able to reach closure and enjoy the great memories I shared with them.

I am bone tired and weary. I want to sleep. I want to wake up tomorrow and feel like me again.

Somehow, I feel like I will never be the same again. I am puzzle with a piece gone forever.

I am a babbling mess.

I do not want a pity party. I am grasping every straw to keep my sanity intact right now. Writing this entry is a selfish endeavor. I am trying to do something that will help me sort out my situation. Writing has a calming effect on me.

Coherence is not my purpose here. I am merely aiming for mental clarity.

Checking In

2007-08-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

Earth Angel

I just bought the folk art painting above from a very talented artist named Angela. I love it because the subject reminds me of my daughter. My daughter has a big heart and always tries to save the world. I love the painting so much that I asked the artist to paint a similar one on a bigger canvas so I could give it to my daughter.

A lot of people do not like naive art because they are very simple and the artists who make them usually do not have professional/ academic art training. The creators of primitive art are most often self taught so they do not attain widespread popularity like professionally trained painters. Grandma Moses comes to mind when fame in folk art is mentioned but nobody else. Most folk artists only attain regional acclaim so not a lot of people from outside their regions knew who they were.

Some people call folk art "working class art." Some turn their noses upward on folk art collectors. Since it is not considered "fine art" or "high art" by most art collectors, some primitive art collectors hide their passion for it to save themselves from derision.

I am not afraid to admit that I love folk/naive/primitive art. I can appreciate art in various forms and styles. I have been in a lot of art museums in the United States and abroad. I have been exposed to the work of the famed old and new masters. The reason why I like folk art is not ignorance or provincialism. Visually, I like folk art for its simplicity and often vibrant hues. Psychologically, I love it because it reminds me of the my mother. She drew with me and my brother when we were young. The subjects in a lot of primitive paintings are also very similar to the anime characters that my daughter and son drew when they were in their teens. Economically, the price of contemporary and vintage folk art is still very affordable so I can buy to my heart's content without breaking the bank.

There you have it. I love folk art and proud to admit it.

Carpe Diem!

2007-06-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

Rudyard Kipling (1910)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”;

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run--
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And--which is more--you’ll be a Man, my son!

YOU'RE THE MAN!

2007-06-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

High from the earth I heard a bird

Emily Dickinson (1896)

High from the earth I heard a bird;
He trod upon the trees
As he esteemed them trifles,
And then he spied a breeze,
And situated softly
Upon a pile of wind
Which in a perturbation
Nature had left behind.
A joyous-going fellow
I gathered from his talk,
Which both of benediction
And badinage partook,
Without apparent burden,
I learned, in leafy wood
He was the faithful father
Of a dependent brood;
And this untoward transport
His remedy for care,—
A contrast to our respites.
How different we are!

You are the best FATHER ever!

Tags: Father's Day

Summer Lovin'

2007-06-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

101 Reasons Why I Love Summer: Flowers, flowers, flowers... (repeat flowers 98 times)

10 THINGS I LEARNED FROM GARDENING

1. SUNSHINE AND RAIN MAKES ONE PHYSICALLY AND EMOTIONALLY FIT.

2. FEED BUT DO NOT OVERFEED.

3. SOME WEEDS AND WILDFLOWERS GROW UP TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND BENEFICIAL.

4. SHARE YOUR BOUNTY. THAT PESKY SQUIRREL USUALLY GOES AWAY WHEN HE HAD HIS FILL.

5. WORMS AND BEES ARE YOUR FRIENDS.

6. TAKE CARE OF THEM AND THEY WILL THRIVE AND PRODUCE.

7. MUSIC IS GOOD FOR EVERYBODY AND ANYBODY.

8. NO CHEMICALS, PLEASE.

9. TO EACH HIS/HER OWN.

10. GARBAGE IN, ORGANIC AND HEALTHY PLANTS OUT.

Ang Thu- The Giver

2007-05-28T14:08:00.000-07:00

The Giver

“ In this world there are two types of people: the giver and the taker. The giver gives generously until it hurts. She does not know how to take and gets embarrassed if she does so. The taker takes all she can from the giver. She does not know how to give and gets upset if she has to. They say opposite attracts: the giver attracts takers and vice versa. I realized long time ago that I am a giver. I made friends with a lot of takers who left me when I have nothing more to give. You are a giver. I knew that when you handed me your cell phone when I was at the airport because I was upset about leaving my camera at home. Later, you shared with me the food you bought at the airport concession. I offered you some money to pay for your phone minutes and the food but you refused. I was embarrassed to take from you but I was also relieved. It is nice to meet another giver. That is why I kept your phone number and called you as soon as I returned to the US. I want to be your friend because I know I can give you something and you could too.”

~Ang Thu

Happy Mother's Day

2007-05-13T13:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day!

"Whatever else is unsure in this stinking dunghill of a world a mother's love is not."
-- James Joyce





Mother o’ Mine

Rudyard Kipling (1891) If I were hanged on the highest hill, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine I know whose love would follow me still, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine! If I were drowned in the deepest sea, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine I know whose tears would come down to me, Mother o’ mine, O mother o’ mine! If I were damned of body and soul, I know whose prayers would make me whole, Mother o’ mine, 0 mother o’ mine!

Summer Dreamin'

2007-05-05T16:21:00.000-07:00

" A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a journey; a journey takes us."

John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

It had been a while since I last updated. I have been slow in visiting other blogs too. I blame Tabby for this. Her slacking is contagious. LOL. Kidding aside, I have been really busy trying to balance my life. A job, a part time business, a home, a garden, and a family to juggle have not left me with a lot of time to update and visit lately.

I have made a lots of non virtual friends of late. I recently came back from Asia and met a Vietnamese lady at the airport. She is from my Florida hometown. She calls me regularly and I often drop by her store. She has a gas station/grocery a couple of blocks away from my son's school. She is 20 years older than I am but she finds me interesting and I am fascinated by her wisdom. I also have my lovely neighbors who I often share my surplus veggies with (and them, their plants and wines). This is our second year in the neighborhood and I could not ask for better neighbors. I also made friends from work and from the programs and events that I manage.

I am planning on throwing a little party next weekend to welcome summer and get together with some of them. I want to have a Spanish theme. I am thinking of making paella, sangria, sardines, and flan. I'll try to order a jamon serrano online but I doubt if they can deliver it that fast. I have other goodies to round up the meal such as kalamata olives, caponata, almonds, cheeses, fruits and other tapas. I also have plenty of riojas for extra libation and I will be downloading some suitable music to complete the atmosphere.

Lately, I have been thinking of going to Spain a lot. Madrid and Barcelona in particular. My mother is part Castilian and part Irish. I grew up eating Spanish food and hearing about my great grandparents' old life in Madrid. I also heard about all the fascinating sights of Madrid, Barcelona, and Seville; the brilliance of Gaudi; the genius of Goya, Velazquez, Miro, Picasso and Dali; and the delicious foods. Hubby and I were planning to visit there this summer but our son has commitments to attend the Nationals for his school's Medical team and a campus visit/interview in Notre Dame, Indiana. Hubby and I can't take too much time off for vacation to squeeze in another trip. I am heartbroken. No, not really but it would have been nice.

If I get to go to Spain in the future, I want to be able to stay for at least a couple of weeks to visit all the places I have been hearing about and try all the strange tapas I could get my hands on. I am not squeamish. I had frog legs, snails, beetles, horse meat and other foods that you might find bizarre but I find exotic.

I also want to go to Greece. Athens and some of the small islands in particular. I want to see the marvelous Greek antiquities and architecture. Of course, I also want to eat plenty of Mediterranean cuisine and drink lots of retsina. Maybe indulge in some Greek Adonis' gazing too. Why not? I'm old enough to contain myself and my hormones are almost extinct.

How about you? Where do you want to go and why?

Happy 21st, My Little Honeysuckle!

2007-04-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
~Confucius

Twenty one years ago today, you peeked your beautiful little head out to see the world. You were wrinkled, slimy, and bald but you were the most gorgeous child I ever laid my eyes on. I got teary eyed and I thought I would burst from the strange surge of pride and happiness that day.

You are twenty one years old. An adult in our society, but you will always be my precious little girl. I want to reiterate that I will always love you unconditionally. You are spreading your wings and taking independent steps toward self sufficiency. I applaud your efforts. You know that if something goes wrong along the road, you always have a home to go back to. In my home, you will always be loved and treasured no matter what.

I finally feel alright about letting you grow. I am excited as you are about you moving to a new apartment in a new city. I know you will do well there. I no longer have the wish to protect you and cushion your way. You demonstrated that you can protect yourself and pave your own way. Today, I feel that same surge of pride and happiness that I felt when you were born. I am very proud of you.

Happy 21st Birthday, Josie!!!

A Mother's Wish

2007-04-11T23:49:00.000-07:00

Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare "All's Well That Ends Well", Act 1 Scene 1
Greatest English dramatist & poet (1564 - 1616)

Forever Young

Joan Baez

May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

Rocking Women and Causes

2007-03-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

I decided I am not waiting till the last kid leaves home to get a life. I am working on my "empty nest to do list." This week, my computer had been really busy downloading songs for my personal playlist. What inspired me to get started is the tag above. I saw it in Terry Ann's tag journal and I just can't pass it up. Terry Ann is so awesome! I asked for it and she made me one with my name on it.

Looking at the songs I have downloaded previously for my playlist, I can say that my taste in music is very eclectic. My taste encompasses every musical genre and subgenre except for the modern day hip hop and rap. The only rap musician I like is Blondie. Her 80's song, Rapture was the first and last rap song I ever liked. The only hip hop artist I listened to lately is Gnarls Barkley. I like playing "Crazy" and singing along with it in my car. Maybe I am showing my age here but I do not "get" a lot of new hip hop and rap songs.

The tag reminded me of my love for female rock stars. Some might think that female rock and roll musicians are all from the 80's. Nope, women had been at it as early as the 20's. Though the 80's saw a proliferation of female performers who rocked because they were signed by mainstream labels, variations of rock had been sung in the 20's to the 70's by numerous talented women.

Not surprisingly, most of the music I have downloaded this week were sung/played by female singers/musicians. I have Ella Fitzgerald, Lena Horne, Etta James, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, Billy Holiday, CWLU Band, Joni Mitchell, Joan Baez, Janis Joplin, Aretha Franklin,Tina Turner, Debbie Harry, Heart, Lita Ford, Cindy Lauper, Joan Jett, Stevie Nicks, Pat Benatar, Annie Lennox, Patti Smith, Kate Bush, Tracy Chapman, PJ Harvey, Erykah Badu, Vanessa May, KT Tunstall and Ani DiFranco. The common denominator for all these women is that they were rock stars. They rocked and rolled like nobody's business. Feel free to suggest anybody who I may overlook.

Sure, there is a room for a few male musicians like Bob Dylan, Rod Stewart, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Fats Domino, Kurt Cobain, and Bruce Springsteen but I am very partial to women who have versatile voices. I like them even better when they can belt out a meaningful song. There is nothing more contradictory yet exhilarating than a sad or bittersweet song being sung in an upbeat manner.

Aside from music, I have other preoccupations lately. I've been working with a nonprofit organization as a Project Manager. Our most recent project was putting together a grant proposal for an afterschool program in an at risk area in our city. Great place, great people, and noble dreams. I am proud to be affiliated with rebels with a cause. Right now, I am working on developing the curriculum for the Personal Development and Parenting classes for the afterschool program. Lots of writing and research but it will be all worth it when I finally see the end product.

Another preoccupation is a plan to start a part time business with my neighbor. She is a lovely lady from Paraguay who is a dreamer like myself. She owns a private school in San Juan Bautista where the students do not have to pay for tuition. As you can see, we're both bleeding hearts so we get along well. We're going to do something that I can't disclose just yet. It's not illegal, just that our business plan needs to be worked and reworked before full disclosure. In layman's term, we're still in the talking and dreaming stage.

If I disappear from blogsphere for a while, do not send the Marines to rescue me. I will be fine, just busy earning brownie points for my economic as well as my karmic existence.

Home Alone: Old Geezers Version

2007-03-09T20:50:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, hubby and I had a glimpse of the years ahead.

Unlike most weekends in our home, we were actually home alone.

It is common knowledge that a teenager living in the home tends to multiply during weekends. Our home is most often chosen as the "hangout" of a gaggle of tall, lanky sixteen year olds: playing Wii, PS2, Xbox 360, Super Nintendo or PC games; having laptop marathon; exchanging witty remarks, potshots and insults; watching scary or funny movies; clanging their musical instruments; and taking frequent trips to the bathroom, refrigerator or pantry. They tease each other endlessly, put away groceries enough to feed a small nation, and roughhouse till the wee hours but I love every one of them. I felt guilty for feeling relieved that they have chosen to hang out elsewhere that weekend, but the guilt was shortlived.

Hubby and I started the evening by going out to dinner and watching Hannibal Rising at the movies. Then we came home, lit the fireplace, opened a bottle of wine, and played the romantic playlist off his iPod. We drank, talked, laughed, and danced infront of the fireplace. We acted like we had no worries. I felt so light and happy. ( Maybe it’s the wine, but for argument’s sake, let’s say it’s because I felt so stress free. I see a lot of you nodding and murmuring, “Yeah, it’s the wine!”)

The evening reminded me of the times we shared when we were childless. When were free to do whatever we want. When we did not worry about the kids or the babysitter. The memories of the distant past relived.

We enjoyed and focused on each other like we have done before the kids came in the picture. It was just hubby and I. Not against the world, but in synch with it. Everything just seemed so right. At one time, I told hubby, “This is life!” and it was an understatement. (No, it’s not the wine talking.)

After that night, I arrived at the conclusion that the dreaded "empty nest" would be more of a blessing than a curse. Sure, I will still miss my kids and I will worry about them but I intend on having a life after the last one leaves. I am already planning on traveling more with my hubby, stocking the wine cabinet, enlarging my music playlist, building an extensive library, pursuing a few other passions I kept on the back burner for so long, and reliving “that night” as often as possible.

Yes, I am looking forward to tomorrow.

Spring Has Sprung

2007-03-07T06:13:00.000-08:00

Spring is here!

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

Daffodils

William Wordsworth

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

My garden is slowly coming back to life. I know the daffodils blooming foretell the warm weather ahead. There is something about spring that you can't see with your eyes but yet "it" gladdens your heart.

Sorry, No Munchkins and Flying Monkeys Today

2007-03-02T10:43:00.000-08:00

Aunt Em! Aunt Em! I am Home!

The worst of the Tornado Warnings and Watches are over for now. When I woke up this morning, I went outside to check if our house landed on the Wicked Witch or in the Land of Oz. The surrounding was familiar and it looked like Florida. Toto was barking his head off as a greeting to his friend, Mr. Squirrel, who was hanging precariously by his hind leg on our privacy fence. The air smelled like magnolia blossoms and the neighbor's greasy breakfast of bacon strips and grits. Yup, I was still in Florida!

Aside for a couple of oak limbs in the front yard, everything seems to be intact and grounded. Thank you for your concerns and prayers. The prayers worked! Hallelujah!

It is actually a very nice day today. The sun is out and it feels like spring outside. I put a few bare root roses and some veggie seeds in the garden. I also took out all the plants I have been harboring inside my house. I hope the freeze periods are over for my area. I do not want to bring all those heavy pots inside for at least six months.

I still need to pour some 75 pounds and 20 gallons of various chemicals in the pool. We hired a diver last week to find the leak in it. It was sipping water like a ginormous buffalo for the past few weeks. We stopped topping the water in it for a couple of weeks so the diver could go down and investigate. The leak was found and repaired after I paid the diving company an arm and a leg. Another arm and leg went to refilling it and buying the chemicals to "stabilize" the tap water poured into it. Just so you know, I may not update for a while since I am typing this post with a pencil in my mouth.

Have a good weekend. May you not suffer from tornadoes, pool leak, and loss of extremities.

Tornado Warning

2007-03-01T16:32:00.000-08:00

Dorothy, Get Toto!

My neck of the wood is under tornado warning. One already touched down in Enterprise, Alabama and killed 13 people. The last time I heard is we'll be under warning until 8:00 PM. Too bad we do not have basements here in West Florida. We'll just have to sit this out and hope that it will spare us.

Reality Check

2007-02-25T16:17:00.000-08:00

"The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires."

Dorothy Parker , US author, humorist, poet, & wit

Dilemma, dilemma!

My son, a high school sophomore, had been getting a lot of college invitations for Early Decision admission. Some of them are from great schools like Notre Dame, NYU, Duke, Miami U, St. John's, and University of Tampa (but I do not know if we can afford these). Some are from good colleges like Florida State U, University of Florida, U of South Florida, Jacksonville U, Xavier, St. Louis, and Rochester (we can afford these but I want him make his own selection without the cost restriction). What a dilemma!

The kid is busting his rear to get into a good college. The invitations for Early Decision were a product of his freshman's PSAT score and good GPA. He has enough extracurricular activities as is but he signed up to be a candy striper at a local hospital and joined HOSA (a student association for those wishing to pursue a degree in medicine and allied health occupations) this year. His team won the HOSA competition in January and they are going to the regional competition next month. He is on the Honors track and will be taking enough AP and dual enrolment classes during his junior and senior year to qualify for an AA degree out of high school.

He told us a few months ago that he wants to explore Medicine as a career. Of course we were supportive and proud of his decision. We talked to him about the commitment needed to pursue an MD degree. He said he just want to explore the possibility for now to see if the job will suit him. We also told him that it will cost a lot of money to go the Med school. He said that he interviewed some of his friend's parents who are Doctors and was told to just apply because if the colleges really want him, they will work out the cost difference with private scholarships and financial aid.

We told him to pick out ten colleges for now and send back the Early Decision applications by the due date (most are for June 2007 through February 2008). From there, he can pick three of those with great financial aid packages. He said the three he wants to get into are Notre Dame, NYU and UT (top shelf but also expensive!).

We are encouraging him to look into colleges and universities that are not too far from home and affordable. We want to see him as often as possible when he goes to college. We also do not want him and us to be burdened by student loans for eternity. He agreed to give nearby and affordable colleges a look if his first, second and third choices proved to be unattainable.

I am in denial. I only have three more years with this child in our home. Well, I am really stretching that, hoping he will not leave until after the summer of his high school senior year. He is the last child to leave home. The nest will be empty soon.

I think the dilemma is not about being able to afford the college he wants to go to or the possibility of him getting rejected by his chosen school. I believe I am freaking out because these Early Decision applications are reminders of the future. I will have to let my son go, SOON.

La Nouvelle-Orléans Part Deux

2007-02-22T16:33:00.000-08:00

The Other Side of New Orleans

On your next vacation, try going to New Orleans. The city will thank you for visiting. They need tourists to rebuild what hurricane Katrina destroyed. It's like going on vacation and donating to a charity in one fell swoop.

St. Louis Cathedral in French Quarter.

Robert Bienville's statue at French Market. He was the founder of NOLA.

The mighty Mississippi River.

Mardi Gras masks and boas at the French market.

Art vendors at Jackson's Square.

City view from our hotel room's window.

Tasty King Cake. A must have for Mardi Gras revelers.

Talking about must haves, try Cajun and Creole cuisine. Pictured are red beans and rice with andouille sausage and shrimp poboy. Also have some gumbo, jambalaya, beignet, pralines and cafe au lait.

Hope you will visit NOLA soon! And when you do, y'all come back, you hear?

La Nouvelle-Orléans

2007-02-19T11:44:00.000-08:00

Laissez Les Bon Temps Rouler!

Let the good times roll!

One of the perks of living on the Gulf Coast is being a part of the "world's biggest street party" in New Orleans, the annual Mardi Gras.

New Orleans is an experience like no other. This French city in the USA is exuberant all year long but indulgent and flamboyant during the Mardi Gras.

Despite the recent devastation this city endured because of hurricane Katrina, its soul and spirit is intact, well, and alive.

Floats galore, bacchanalia, spontaneous street singing/dancing, and general merry making are party du jour.

As evidenced by the pictures below, New Orleans is the place to be in February!

Captain Morgan and his wenches at the Harrah's street dance party.

Iron man partying it like a superhero.

Pirate float andthe bounty hunters on and off the ship.

Balcony throwers at the French Quarter.

I spied Betelguese in his party fineries.

More pics to come...

V-DAY

2007-02-14T21:52:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Hubby built this arbor for me for V-day. It is not done yet. We still need to level the soil around it and put flagstones down. I have the table and chairs as well as the chandelier for it.

It was too cold to eat out so we decided to have our V-day dinner inside.

A close up of the lovely flowers hubby ordered from Hawaii. The table was set for a Japanese dinner. We had miso soup, hearts of romaine salad, shrimp tempura, chicken katsu and sushi.

The sock monkey I made for my son's girlfriend. She came and had dinner with us.

I did not make dessert because we were suppose to go out and get ice cream after dinner. It was freezing outside so the kids bailed out on me.

Alabama Sojourn

2007-02-12T16:51:00.000-08:00

A painting by Karl Briulloff titled The Last Day of Pompeii at the Pompeii Exhibit at the Gulf Coast Explorium in Mobile, Alabama

A cast of a child burnt to cinder from the explosion of Mt. Vesuvius at the Pompeii Exhibit.

"Throw me some beads, Mister!" A float krewe at the Mobile Mardi Gras parade.

Lambert's Cafe, billed as Hillbilly restaurant, located in Foley, Alabama .

A roll thrower at Lambert's. Lambert's is famous for its throwed rolls (your rolls are thrown at you and you have to catch them!) and pass arounds (side dishes from pots passed by roving waiters).

Western Caribbean Cruise

2007-02-06T17:58:00.000-08:00

Bye, USA! Hello, Western Caribbean!

I wish I am still there.

Mayan ruins in the Yucatan Peninsula.

A house in Cozumel.

Welcome to Playa del Carmen.

Hello, Costa Maya!

Ole! Hasta la vista, amigos y amigas!

Prince Charming Incarnate

2007-01-29T15:13:00.000-08:00

Below is something I need to put in writing for posterity. In the event that I contract dementia/ Alzheimer disease in my old age, I want to be able to read and remember this moment.

Me: How's C? (C is my son's girlfriend).

Son: Fine. It's almost six months. (Their relationship).

Me: She must be special, huh?

Son: Yeah. She's smart, funny, loving, and beautiful.

Me: Sounds like a keeper!

Son: Yeah. She reminds me of you.

Me: Son, thank you!

Readworthy

2006-12-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

Father Forgets

by W. Livingston Larned

Listen, son; I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, "Goodbye, Daddy!" and I frowned, and said in reply, "Hold your shoulders back!"

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road, I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive - and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. "What is it you want?" I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding - this was my reward to your for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bedside in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: "He is nothing but a boy - a little boy!"

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother's arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

Self Portrait

2006-09-23T14:40:00.000-07:00

Have no fear of perfection- you'll never reach it.

~Salvador Dali

I am a work in progress. I am constantly evolving. I have ebbs and flows. I learn everyday. I appreciate each and every experience- good or bad.

I am a perennial planted in rich soil. Even the worst of winters can not keep me from coming back in the spring and blooming profusely in the summer.

I am me. I am Dee.

2006-09-18T16:19:00.000-07:00

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
~Kahlil Gibran

My son was going to a sleepover in Gulf Breeze this weekend. We started on the road early and got breakfasts at a McDonald's. We were almost done eating when he got up and talked to a guy at a table nearby. When he came back to our table I asked him what was going on. He said, "I've been watching that guy for the past few minutes eating catsup off the packets. I thought he might be hungry so I gave him some money."

He also chases butterflies, dragonflies, bees and birds with a net to set them free from our pool enclosure. We have a dog who likes to go out and frolic in the yard so we keep our enclosure door open. The first time I saw him net a butterfly, I asked him what he was doing. He said," I noticed a few dead ones floating on the pool. I think it is because there's no food for them in this enclosure and they do not know how to fly out of it."

He will stop and ask if there's anything he could do to help if he sees a car stopped on the side of the road. He will change tires if needed. He will hand his cell phone to a stranded traveler to call a spouse, a friend or a tow truck.

He gets out of the car to escort stray animals off the street. He stops for crossing ducks, deers, turtles and other critters. He once found a kitten, carried it around and asked everybody if they want it until he found a lady who was willing to take it home.

He can get insane but he is so humane.

He is my buddy and my hubby.

Guilty Pleasure#5

2006-09-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

"OK, so... so... sometimes I lie. I mean, I'm weird, man. About random stuff too. I don't even know why I do it. It's like... It's like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, 'Wow, that wasn't even remotely true.' "

~Natalie Portman as Sam, Garden State

It was late August in Florida. The sun was warm on her skin. She was wearing a white cotton sundress and the huarache sandals she bought from the international market about a week ago. By the electric pole’s shadow, she could tell that it was almost noon. She woke up this morning in her apartment which was approximately two hours away from where she was and drove without a destination in mind.

She grabbed her handbag to feel for an unsealed white envelop. It was not a regular one but bigger, wider, a made-for-card envelop. It wasaddressed and stamped. Inside the envelope was a postcard. A postcard she bought from a yard sale. The card caught her eye because it had a picture of a broken heart on it. It was very simple: a black background and a red broken heart with jagged edge where it was broken, probably a card that was bought but never sent. At that time, she did not know what she would do with it.

The card would serve a purpose today. It would set her free from the past.

Just a few minutes ago, she parked her car in a parking garage and set to walk around this quaint little town’s downtown area to look for a mailbox where she could drop the envelop.

She knew there was a bakery up ahead because she could smell the delicious heady scent of cinnamon buns and pungent aroma of fresh brewed coffee. She quickened her pace, passed by a used bookstore, made a mental note of checking if they have a copy of a book she wanted to reread, then spotted where the smell was coming from. It was a little glass fronted cafe, with inside and outside seating. It had a contrived French atmosphere. A couple of metal tuteurs- elaborate European trellises- draped in silk ivy look alike on equally elaborate urns, planked the entrance. The daily offerings were written in French on a chalkboard above the long chest level glass display case filled with every imaginable cookies, cakes, and pastries which run the whole length of a wall facing the door. A short, low laminate topped counter held the espresso machine and a small cold beverage fridge. It covered the middle part of the right wall. The inside seating area was decorated with framed posters of Viktor Shvaiko’s Paris scenes. There were four sets of haphazardly scattered round tables and matching chairs covered with crisp red, white, and black checkered linen fabric. The outside sitting area consisted of four metal tables each with four chairs topped by umbrellas in French flag colors infront of the cafe.

She sat on a vacant table outside the cafe. A pimply teenage boy in blue polo shirt and khaki trousers appeared. She ordered an espresso and an almond cookie. While waiting for her order, she opened her handbag taking out the white envelop. She looked at the address on the envelop, peeked at the postcard inside then licked it shut. She walked to a mailbox a few steps away from where she was sitting, looked all around her to see if someone was watching, then gingerly dropped the white envelop in it. Her heart felt lighter as she sat back to enjoy her coffee and cookie but she knew she would always feel guilty for what she did two years ago.

The envelop was addressed to PostSecret. On the postcard inside, with the broken heart as a background were cut and pasted bold black words typed on white strips of paper. The strips formed the phrase: " He did not cheat on you. I lied. I am sorry but I cannot bring back the past and make it right for both of you."

*** This is a fictional story. I found the PostSecret website about a year ago when I clicked on a link off Susan's Favorite Sites sidebar. It quickly became one of my guilty pleasures because the siteis the perfect fodder for a writer wannabe with a very active imagination. This year, on my birthday, my daughter gave me the published hardcover book. It is a great gift because I have since written about a dozen short stories based on made up characters I have woven from the postcards in that book. The one above is not my best piece but it is representative of my other PostSecret inspired short stories.

Special thanks goes to Sandi for critiquing my roughdraft. ***

"PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard."

Here's the link: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Oh-Me-Oh-My!

2006-09-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

Whoa! Check this out!

"Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess."

Go here to read the rest of the article:

Create an e-annoyance, go to jail | Perspectives | CNET News.com

The Rorschach Test

2006-09-07T20:20:00.000-07:00

"I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never knew looking back on my laughter would make me cry. "

~Cat Stevens

Full Circle

by Dee

Distant voice

Estranged by choice

A space needed

To grow, to breathe

To define who you are

Find who I am

We are lost

In dreams of past

Times long gone

Grasping straws

Would and could

Never should

Go with the flow

Find your Tao

Till the day

We can unravel

What went askew

With less ado

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many of my entries are meaningful to me. A lot of them may read like the babblings of a madwoman to you. Babbling, I do. Madwoman? I can be. But a babbling madwoman? I assure you that I am not multi-talented so I doubt I can pull that.

I often feel that to write the details about my entries will prove to be "too much information." A lot of it is symbolic of my most intimate (non-biblical) thoughts.

This is an entry about the trials and tribulations of "raising adult children." I am a newbie in this area and I grapple with these issues constantly.

Mea culpa. I need to practice what I always preached: You're not letting them go. You're letting them grow.

Oh, No! Not Again!

2006-08-27T06:31:00.000-07:00

There's no rest for the wicked.

2004- Ivan

2005-Dennis

2006-Ernesto?

Heavens help us!

Ain't dis da truth?

2006-08-25T08:26:00.000-07:00

This made me smile today. I stole the idea from Ms. Sugar's entry and the outcome is not so far from the truth. How apropos!

The University of Blogging

Presents to
Dee

An Honorary
Bachelor of
Ranting and Raving

Majoring in
Bad Poetry

Signed
Dr. GoQuiz.com

What?! Three Already?

2006-08-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

Happy 3rd Anniversary!

AOL Journals (and its bloggers) survived the terrible twos and now in the sassy know-it-all third year.

I would like to thank all my J- Land friends for all the love, hugs, support, postcards, e-mails, memories, emotions, jokes, and other intangibles you shared with me.

You guys are the best !!!

Fact or Fiction? You Decide.

2006-08-14T15:14:00.000-07:00

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
~e e cummings

Guaranteed to make you smile. Especially since it’s a true story.

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” were televised to earth and heard by millions. But just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky.”

Many people at NASA thought it was acasual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky either in the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the “Good luck, Mr. Gorsky” statement meant but Armstrong just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time, he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor’s yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky. “Sex! You want sex? You’ll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!”

To Josie

2006-08-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

"Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Ophelia- John Waterhouse

To Josie

(By Dee)

Noble gestures unsung

Silent desperation

Veiled with a smile

Noble intent gone awry

Strength drained

Heart withered and dry

Sleepless nights

Nary a dry eye

Cannot bring back time

Move on, my child

Up ahead, he is waiting

In shiny armor plating

Timeless Wisdom

2006-08-09T13:39:00.000-07:00

"Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life."

~Immanuel Kant

Soft Watch At Moment of First Explosion, Salvador Dali, 1954

Remember the song below? Well, it is really not a song, rather, it is a speech written by Chicago Tribune columnist, Mary Schmich, in 1997. It was set to music by Baz Luhrmann, read by Australian voice actor Lee Perry, and was released on the 1998 album Something For Everybody by EMI Records. Urban legend has it that it was the 1999 Massachusetts Institute of Technology's commencement speech given by famed author Kurt Vonnegut.

Its uncanny similarity to my favorite poem, Desiderata , made me love this song/speech. Both contain timeless wisdom.

Everybody's Free
(to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97.

Wear Sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some ideal Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year- olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody's else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't' be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before itmakes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Bye, Pikachu!

2006-08-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

We chose you. Goodbye. You will be missed. We love you more than you will ever know.

It's That Time Again!

2006-08-02T20:59:00.000-07:00

I am afraid it is hurricane season again in the Sunshine State and we are carefully tracking every tropical storm and tropical depression so we can get out of the way if any of them turn into hurricanes.

After getting an Ivan/ Dennis double whammy, we are much, much wiser. We're not staying this time to take the pounding. We will be packing and taking mini vacation somewhere where we will not have anxiety about the wind velocity and flooding possibility.

We're hoping Someone up there is going to spare us this year but we still need to be hypervigilant until the hurricane season is over.

Fresh from the Weather Channel:

"On its current path, Chris is tracking just north of the Virgin Islands and will also pass just north of Puerto Rico tonight and during the early morning hours. Radar out of San Juan, Puerto Rico is showing the outer bands of Chris sweeping through the U.S. Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico. These squalls will be accompanied with bouts of heavy rain and gusty winds. Total rainfall amounts of 2 to locally 5 inches is possible for the islands.

Tropical storm warnings remain posted for Puerto Rico and the U.S. and British Virgin Islands. A hurricane watch has been posted for the Turks and Caicos along with the southeastern Bahamas. A hurricane watch means that hurricane conditions are possible during the next 36 hours.

Residents of the Bahamas and south Florida should monitor the progress of Chris closely. As the projected path suggests, please be aware that it is quite possible that Chris may be nearing the Straits of Florida some time this weekend and may impact northern Cuba to the Florida Keys with heavy rain and squalls".

Orange Tree, Very Pretty

2006-07-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

This is an orange tree we bought when we moved in our new house three months ago. At that time it was full of fragrant white flowers and now it has golf ball sized fruits.

*****************************************************************************************

Read the Wikipedia article below and tell me how you feel about this ancient food production method.

Force-feeding of animals
Force-feeding is also known as gavage, from a French word meaning "to gorge". This term specifically refers to force-feeding of geese and young cattle in order to fatten their livers in the production of foie gras and veal respectively. Gavage can also refer to the practice of administering liquids (such as medicines) to laboratory animals via a tube or syringe.
Force-feeding of birds is practiced mostly on geese or male Mulard ducks, a Muscovy/Pekin hybrid. Preparation for gavage usually begins 4-5 months before slaughter. For geese, after an initial free-range period and treatment to assist in esophagus dilation (eating grass, for example), the force-feeding commences. Gavage is performed 2—4 times a day for 2-5 weeks, depending on the size of the fowl, using a funnel attached to a slim metal or plastic feeding tube inserted into the bird'sthroat to deposit the food into the storage area in the esophagus. A grain mash, usually maize mixed with fats and vitamin supplements, is the feed of choice. Waterfowl are suited to the tube method due to a nonexistant gag-reflex and extremely flexible esophagi, so unlike other fowl such as chickens, gavage may be practiced with minimal discomfort for the bird. These migratory waterfowl are also ideal for gavage because of their natural ability to gain large amounts of weight in short periods of time before cold seasons. For this reason, gavage is usually a "finishing" stage before the bird is set for slaughter, for if left to its own devices after finishing, the bird will quickly return to its normal weight. The result of this practice is an severely enlarged, especially fatty liver, when if especially exaggerated is the liver disease hepatic lipidosis. The liver may swell up to 12 times its normal size (up to three pounds). While the livers are the coveted portions of these birds, the unctuous flesh of fattened geese and ducks as well as their feathers find a market. Due to protests from animal-rights groups against the method of obtaining these enlarged livers, gavage is outlawed in United Kingdom, Germany, the Czech Republic, Finland, Luxembourg, Norway, Poland, Sweden, Switzerland, Denmark and Israel, as well as in some, but not all, USA states. The USA's most recent ban on foie gras was in Chicago, Illinois.

Postcards Exchange

2006-07-28T08:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the home of the Blue Angels, the Navy's elite flying team!!!

I bought my cards yesterday and all I have to do is affix the stamps and mail them out.

For anybody who is saying, "What you talking about, Willis?" There is a postcard exchange going on in the blogsphere. Basically what it is that an exchange of addreseses so postcards from each participants' state or hometown can be mailed.

I know it is an exercise in trusting strangers. I am OK with that because I trust people until they kick me in the behind.

So those of you who are brave enough to send me your addy, you will get a postcard from the Emerald Coast. Our beaches are known for their white sugar sand. The sand looks like snow in a distance.

I Dare You!!!

New Orleans/ Biloxi Revisited

2006-07-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

I was trying to download multiple pics to no avail (again!!!). So I summoned my inner Zen to corral the aggressive energy directed towards my AOL software. (Breathe, ohm, breathe).

The pic above is one of the many we have taken during our mini-vacation in New Orleans, LA and Biloxi, MS sometime in May this year. It took my son sometime to forward them to me. (I used his camera to take the pics because I forgot mine).

The French Quarter in New Orleans was business as usual and seem to have withstood Katrina's fury. The downtown area was bustling with tourists and hundreds of people partied at night on Bourbon Street. The familiar smells of Cafe du Monde's exhilarating coffee and sweet yeasty beignets and Chez Pierre's spicy gumbo and briny blackened seafood still permeate the air. The taste of the food was even better than I remember. I devoured a whole bag of warm and buttery kettle corn while shopping at the French Market. I ate my fill of oh-so-tasty-I-could-cry cajun food. The Garden district was intact save for a few homes that look like they were being renovated. The drive around the Garden district made me happy because the ancient stately homes were there and the cozy little neighborhood bistros were doing brisk business.

The surrounding areas, especially those subdivisions near the levee, were a different story. I cried the whole time we were viewing the affected neighborhoods because I can not seem to look at the devastation without feeling bad for the owners of the destroyed homes. I could not stop thinking of how they must have felt to come back to a ruined home and how scary it must have been to lose your home, your job, your community and some loved ones.

Biloxi, MS and the surrounding vicinities did not fare well either. It was heartbreaking to drive through familiar places and find that landmarks were swept in the ocean. I loved the little Welcome Center in the middle of all the high rise casinos but it was not there anymore. I loved looking at the southern grand dames of homes: the massive Tudor with a well tended lawn, the haughty Victorian with its intricate gingerbread details, the proud Federal with sculpted trees... I could go on forever describing these magnificent homes because there's no architecture like the decadent old architecture. I remember one with flying buttresses too. Most of these homes are gone forever. How I wished I took pictures of each and one of them so I can show my grandchildren how beautiful Biloxi used to be.

My heart breaks for the Louisiana and Mississippi people. Our trip to those areas made me realize that even though the media stopped reporting about the Katrina victims because there are more recent natural disasters around the US and the world, these people's sufferings are far from over.

Please count your blessings and remember the Katrina victims if you have the time or funds to spare.

Flora sans Fauna

2006-07-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

This is a brugmansia plant and its flower up close. Its also called angel's trumpet bush. By September, it will be about seven feet tall with fragrant flowers measuring between a foot and a half to two and a half feet.

I have several in different colors and some have double petaled flowers.

The functionality of my AOL software is still shaky that is why I have not updated in a while.

I am planning on making my rounds today as I have 293 new entry alerts.

Tata for now.

Cornucopia

2006-06-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

  Take thy plastic spade,
                  It is thy pencil; take thy seeds, thy plants,
                  They are thy colours.

William Mason, The English Garden, 1782

This journal will not let me load multiple pictures again.

I just want to share pics of my garden's bounty but I can only load one.

I am picking the veggies and flowers everyday and sharing them with my neighbors.

I am continually adding more plants to my yard and I am hoping that it will look like a lush tropical garden in a year or so.

I am still looking for a slow growing bamboo plant. Other varieties of bamboos can be very invasive so I am cautious about just getting one from the home improvement store. Our local nursery is suppose to get some compact ones in two weeks.

I am also crazy about brugmansias. So far I have white, yellow, and peach colored ones. I recently acquired a variegated one that is suppose to have pink blooms. It is a cutting so I am yet to see its flowers.

Well, It's time for beddy-bye. Goodnight, my friends!

Flower Power!

2006-06-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

I'd let the pics do the talking in this entry.

Veggies!!!

2006-06-27T06:33:00.000-07:00

These are my tomatoes. They are potted because Florida has a bad nematode problem. After a few years of sticking tomatoes in the ground and watching them struggle, I got wiser.

These are the other veggies in my garden.

It's been slow but with a lot of tinkering, I can now load multiple pics and use some of the buttons on my Journal. That's what I call progress.

More plants pics to come...

Mon Jardin Merveilleux Part Deux

2006-06-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is the pic of the pineapple plant I mentioned in my last entry. It is potted and is outside at this time. Yes, pineapples are tropical plants so they will not thrive outside if the temperature is below fifty degrees.

The pot behind has the Plumeria plant.

Ellie, e-mail me your address and I'll send you the pineapple plants. Yes, I would love to have some ginger plants. I have the Kalihi and Butterfly varieties.

Mon Jardin Merveilleux

2006-06-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

These are the flowers of the Plumeria I recieved as a Christmas gift about five years ago. I lived in Hawaii for a few years and Plumeria flowers give me flashbacks of the idyllic island life I used to lead.

I recently went to New Orleans and found a vendor selling some cuttings. I bought four cuttings marked red, pink, white and pure yellow (flowers). I've spotted leaves sprouting on the cuttings but I know it will take at least a couple of years for them to flower.

I also have a pineapple plant with a fruit and lots of little plants I took as suckers from the mature ones. I'll post a pic of it in my next entry since my journal will not let me load multiple pics right now. If you want some pineapple plants and you're not afraid to e-mail me your address, I'll send you some through the mail. It takes about two to three years before they bear fruit and the fruit takes about a year and a half to grow to full size and ripen. These plants require a lot of patience. LOL.

I have a cutting garden of flowers where I planted sunflowers, zinnias, gardenias, black eyes susans, pink/white coneflowers and shasta daisies. I am enjoying the fruits of my labor right now. I have vases around my house full of flowers from my garden.

Hmm... Do I need to mention that I have beans, tomatoes, okras, zucchinis, peppers and eggplants coming out of my ears?

I always enjoyed gardening. It is a form of meditation for me. There is something calming and uplifting about tilling the land and caring for plants.

Drat!

2006-06-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Hi there! Just testing this blog's functionality. It seems to come and go. The GUIs are very touchy. They'll work then stop working after the first paragraph.

I just got done manually extracting pesky data from my registry and still looking for things to tweak so I can get down to the business of blogging again.

Here are some pics of my garden. I am crossing my fingers that the file transfer will work.

Hmmmm... I guess it is still messed up.

I'M BACK!!!

2006-06-15T17:08:00.000-07:00

Woohoo! Once and for all, my blog finally lets me in!

I did not die. I was just having a lot of problems with my old AOL software. Most of the add-an-entry GUIs are still not functional but at least I can finally comment on blogs and write something on mine.

More tinkling of the software and I might be able to put pics, colors, and fancy fonts on this baby.

Just babbling...

Vote for Skylar!

2006-03-10T11:09:00.000-08:00

Remember the courageous and passionate young lady in my past entry who entered a local fashion designer contest ala Project Runway? Below is her prom gown entry. I think it is fresh and funky! Please vote for her if you could at: Life | The Pensacola News Journal

The Impossible Dream

(Man of La Mancha Soundtrack)

To dream ... the impossible dream ...
To fight ... the unbeatable foe ...
To bear ... with unbearable sorrow ...
To run ... where the brave dare not go ...
To right ... the unrightable wrong ...
To love ... pure and chaste from afar ...
To try ... when your arms are too weary ...
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

This is my quest, to follow that star ...
No matter how hopeless, no matter how far ...
To fight for the right, without question or pause ...
To be willing to march into Hell, for a Heavenly cause ...

And I know if I'll only be true, to this glorious quest,
That my heart will lie, will lie peaceful and calm,
when I'm laid to my rest ...
And the world will be better for this:
That one man, scorned and covered with scars,
Still strove, with his last ounce of courage,
To reach ... the unreachable star ...

Unconditional Love

2006-03-09T06:46:00.000-08:00

"You were created to be completely loved and to be completely lovable for your whole life."

~ Deepak Chopra

Klimt- Mother & Child

THE GIVING TREE

Once there was a giving tree who loved a little boy.
And everyday the boy would come to play
Swinging from the branches, sleeping in the shade
Laughing all the summer’s hours away.
And so they love,
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon the boy grew older and one day he came and said,
"Can you give me some money, tree, to buy something I’ve found?"
"I have no money," said the tree, "Just apples, twigs and leaves."
"But you can take my apples, boy, and sell them in the town."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

But soon again the boy came back and he said to the tree,
"I’m now a man and I must have a house that’s all my home."
"I can’t give you a house" he said, "The forest is my house."
"But you may cut my branches off and build yourself a home"
And so he did.
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And time went by and the boy came back with sadness in his eyes.
"My life has turned so cold," he says, "and I need sunny days."
"I’ve nothing but my trunk," he says, "But you can cut it down
And build yourself a boat and sail away."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

And after years the boy came back, both of them were old.
"I really cannot help you if you ask for another gift."
"I’m nothing but an old stump now. I’m sorry but I’ve nothing more to give"
"I do not need very much now, just a quiet place to rest,"
The boy, he whispered, with a weary smile.
"Well", said the tree, "An old stump is still good for that."
"Come, boy", he said, "Sit down, sit down and rest a while."
And so he did and
Oh, the tree was happy.
Oh, the tree was glad.

Just Blabbing Away

2006-03-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

Bummer. Hubby and I were suppose to rock at the Aerosmith's and Cheap Trick's concert last night but it was cancelled. It was a conspiracy to deprive old geezers of a rocking good time. Oh well...

Yay Factor. The posters are out for the Huckleberry Finn's performing arts show . My son is in it and I am helping out with props painting and design.

Rising Star. Watch out for this young lady. She is my son's friend and his band's new bassist. She is the youngest entrant of Project Prom, a local clothing designer contest patterned after Bravo's Project Runway. Read more about her here : http://www.pensacolanewsjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060221/LIFE/602210307/1004

Have a great weekend!

The Loveliest Sad Poem Ever!

2006-02-28T15:50:00.000-08:00

Gustav Klimt- The Kiss

"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." -Rainer Maria Rilke

Veinte poemas de amor y una
canción desesperada

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.

Escribir, por ejemplo: "La noche está estrellada,
y tiritan, azules, los astros, a lo lejos".

El viento de la noche gira en el cielo y canta.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Yo la quise, y a veces ella también me quiso.

En las noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos.
La besé tantas veces bajo el cielo infinito.

Ella me quiso, a veces yo también la quería.
Cómo no haber amado sus grandes ojos fijos.

Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche.
Pensar que no la tengo. Sentir que la he perdido.

Oir la noche inmensa, más inmensa sin ella.
Y el verso cae al alma como al pasto el rocío.

Qué importa que mi amor no pudiera guardarla.
La noche está estrellada y ella no está conmigo.

Eso es todo. A lo lejos alguien canta. A lo lejos.
Mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Como para acercarla mi mirada la busca.
Mi corazón la busca, y ella no está conmigo.

La misma noche que hace blanquear los mismos árboles.
Nosotros, los de entonces, ya no somos los mismos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero cuánto la quise.
Mi voz buscaba el viento para tocar su oído.

De otro. Será de otro. Como antes de mis besos.
Su voz, su cuerpo claro. Sus ojos infinitos.

Ya no la quiero, es cierto, pero tal vez la quiero.
Es tan corto el amor, y es tan largo el olvido.

Porque en noches como ésta la tuve entre mis brazos,
mi alma no se contenta con haberla perdido.

Aunque éste sea el último dolor que ella me causa,
y éstos sean los últimos versos que yo le escribo.

(English Translation)

Twenty Love Poems and a
Song of Despair

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

Anniversary Tribute

2006-02-26T09:55:00.000-08:00

“Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things.” ~Denis Diderot

He came from a humble beginning. He was born and raised in the blue-collar city of Flint, Michigan. His father was a General Motors worker and his mother, a stay home mom. He had an older brother and an older sister. He was the youngest of the brood. They lived in a subdivision in a cookie cutter bungalow of the 1960’s.

He remembers a lot of the good times he had as a child. Halloween is his favorite holiday. He often reminisces about the days when he would trick or treat in his neighborhood and his family went all out decorating the home like a haunted house. He smiles when he thinks about the summer days he spent swimming in the creek at his grandparents’ property in Tawas, Michigan and swimming in their above ground pool in their backyard. He has that amazing glow when he recounts stories about his youthful adventures with his childhood friends.

He also remembers the time when his parents divorced when he was twelve. How his world came crashing down when he came home from school and his mother was not there. He searched for his mother and found her at an Aunt’s home and was told to go home to his father because his mother did not have the resources to raise him. His heart still breaks when he recalls the humiliation and anger he felt when he saw intact families going about their business in their neighborhood when his was torn apart.

He recollects his high school days. These days were blurry and full of angst. He did not want to be there. He just wanted to get it over and done with so he can take a factory job. He did not think he was a college material. He was resigned to living a blue-collar existence. Men in his city were proud and hardworking: they made decent amount of money to buy homes and keep their families fed. That was all he aspired for.

Fast forward to what he had accomplished and who he became. He traveled all over the world. He got a college degree. He wears suit to work. He loves what he does for a living. He has an intact family of his own. He has been married for twenty something years. He sends his children to the best schools he could afford and dreams of seeing them lead happy and productive lives in the future. He plans on taking courses to get a graduate degree. He is dreaming of retiring in style on acreages with a creek and a cottage like his grandparents had.

He does everything with enthusiasm or not at all. His passion sets him on fire to achieve. He attributes much of his success to his wife. Truth to be known, his glory is all his. He is who he is because he is a passionate man.

Funny Stuff

2006-02-23T21:03:00.000-08:00

What do elementary age children say about Moms?

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in
the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones.Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chore?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house ?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Moms and Dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home. Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what
would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.

Look, our swimming pool is not a water-filled-truck-bed!!!

2006-02-21T17:15:00.000-08:00

The house deal seems to be going too slow. Our new closing date is April 14th. The appraiser is yet to come because the seller has not replaced the pool liner and cleaned the hot tub as promised. The loan officer suggested that the pool and hot tub be put in working condition before the appraiser's visit to maximize the home's value. Hopefully, the seller will take care of it this week.

My son's band played at the local cafe last Friday. It was their first show. A week before the show, the drummer and the bassist decided to resign. My son and the remaining member found two guys to replace them but they did not have time to get together to practice. They mostly teleconferenced for a couple of days before the show. The night of the show, they were all nervous, one of the guys' instrument was not tuned, the rhythm guitarist had to play drums, one of their amp was reverberating, and some of those in the audience want hardcore music. Poor kids! The first three songs were not so good but they did a decent job toward the end. My son was embarassed but we told him that there will be another time for him to redeem himself as a good musician. He was surprised because the manager of the cafe paid them. They were not expecting to be paid. They were doing it to gain stage experience and learn the intricacies of live shows. He said the manager said that they had enough paying audience in the show that he had the money to pay them. We told him to keep the money and frame it. It's his first earnings as a musician! The cafe manager also invited them to come back for another show so they are practicing with two new members to get ready for their next live performance.

My heart goes to some of our fellow bloggers. Some had been having health/personal problems and others have lost loved ones. I want to respect their privacy so I will not drop names but I want to ask everybody to please say aprayer ( light a candle or do whatever you are comfortable with) to alleviate their pains and sufferings.

The Humble Abode

2006-02-17T16:33:00.000-08:00

This is the pic of the house that we are buying. It is not ours yet but we're almost there. It needs landscaping and some remodeling but it has a great layout and a very quiet location.

Happy V-Day!

2006-02-13T15:33:00.000-08:00

Happy V-Day to Everyone!

Hubby is in Key West. I am suppose to fly there this weekend to spend some time with him. Well, I begged off because of the homebuying decisions and errands. Hubby just called and he is flying home tomorrow! Nothing and nobody can make me hate V-Day now! He said he is handcarrying my gift. Of course it's no surprise what I get because I get them every year. Look at the pic in this entry and take a wild guess. Listen to me brag like a teenage girl! Yes, you can hate me but I'll still laugh and skip around like a maniac.

On the homebuying front: We applied for the mortgage funding and we were told that the pre-approval should be ready by tomorrow. The appraiser should have her report for the mortgage/value ratio by the end of the week. We have the inspection appointment and all the mortgage insurance research done. Everything seems to fall in place so we should be able to close within the target date.

My son got a part in the production of Huckleberry Finn. He is George Mathers. He was told he was not right for the Huck or Tom part because he looks mature and he's too tall. He's a 15 year old who towers over everyone in our family. He'll have rehearsals for two months and two weeks of shows. He is also part of a band, Last Runner Up. He plays guitar, bass and keyboard and sings. His band is playing at a local cafe on February 17th.

I swear I'm getting rid of the all the bragging in my system in this entry. Next time, I'll be more decent.

Lastly, I want to wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day! May the loves of your life show you how much they love and appreciate you not only tomorrow but everyday.

I owe, I owe

2006-02-09T10:20:00.000-08:00

The offer-counter offer phase is over. Our counter offer had been accepted and the provisions for repairs had been ironed out. We are on our way to being homeowners again!

The next move is to hire an inspector, get the mortgage funded, and shop for insurance. I called our bank this morning and a mortgage loan officer will be sitting with me tomorrow so he can explain the differences in the three mortgage programs they currently have. I have a list of local inspectors and mortgage insurance agents I can call tomorrow after the mortgage-funding meeting. I am getting so good at this! Maybe I can parlay these skills into a paying job. LOL.

I was doing our taxes this morning and when I got the news, I abandoned the exciting world of hunting for deductions and embarked on a new and fascinating adventure in the homeownership realm. This might not sound exciting to a lot of people but it does not take a lot to excite me. Anything that requires using my brain cells tickles me pink. Throw in some numbers and negotiations in the mix and I am putty in your hands.

One thing I learned from all of this is: if you are buying a home, hire a buyer’s agent. We did not do this with our first home. We found a home, talked to the seller’s agent who had the listing and negotiated through her. Only in retrospect that we realized that she was the seller’s advocate and so she did everything to get as much from us and she did not have to split her commission with anyone. Hiring a buyer’s agent does not cost you money because the seller has to compensate him/her for her services through the funding proceeds. The way it works is if the agent sold you her listing, she’ll get the whole 6% commission but she only gets 3% if you have your own agent.

Hubby and I ticked off the seller’s agent because we hired a buyer’s agent after we asked her to view the house. I made it clear to her that we are going to do that during the showing but it did not really matter. She was ticked because she has to split her commission so I was told, “That was not nice of you to hire a buyer’s agent after I went out of my way to show you the house.” Duh! She’s the seller’s agent she has to show the home to any interested buyer. All I said was, “We are entitled to be represented by someone who does not owe her loyalty to the seller. We just felt that we can negotiate better if we hire someone to look primarily after our best interests.”

At first, we thought the negotiations would not go well because the seller’s agent might dissuade the seller from selling to us or play hardball with the home price. I guess that worry is over now and there are other dragons to slay.

Bye for now. I need some time to do a happy dance!!!

New Home?

2006-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Just want to blab a bit because I am giddy. Giddy, yes, giddy. I've just signed on the dotted line for the biggest purchase I've made in my life. As most of you know, I've been living in an apartment because I sold our old home. For the longest, I've been waiting for the new construction contractor to sit with me and hubby to finalize the sale of a home in a new subdivision. The contractor had been stalling and I am under the impression that he is waiting for the lot and the home to appreciate since there had been a runaway appreciation of real estate property in our hometown since the Ivan and Dennis double whammy.

I got the deposit back from the new construction contractor because the APR is on the rise and the properties are appreciating. We're missing the real estate property appreciation train because we can not lock the APR and the price of the new home. Pretty much, from what we see in the listings, the homes in that neighborhood doubled in price so we're concerned that by the time the contractor sits with us, we will not be able to afford the asking price.

To make this long story short, I put an offer on a pre-existing home today. Hubby and I found it a week ago and we came back this weekend to view it again. I hired a buyer's agent yesterday and he seems to be on the ball since he talked to me at length about the property then did the necessary research so we can come up with a contingency offer price. He met with me today to tour the property and discuss the pros/cons of putting in an offer. We then decided to make an offer.

It's just an offer. It could be rejected. Nonetheless, I am happy at the prospect of having enough room for all our accumulated junk.

Young Atlas

2006-02-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark. In the hopeless swamps of the not quite, the not yet, and the not at all, do not let the hero in your soul perish and leave only frustration for the life you deserved, but never have been able to reach. The world you desire can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours."

Ayn Rand (1905-1982), Atlas Shrugged

Poetry by Dee

Young Atlas

Independence is a yoke

A burden that has to be carried

Heave, my child, heave

For your dreams

For your wants

For your needs

They are not easy to achieve

But nothing is beyond your reach

Spin your world

Watch it revolve and evolve

With different sets of looking glass

Absorb all you can

Discover how you can

Learn what you can

It is not easy to accomplish

But you have all the needed means

Suspend your fears

Fly high with your young wings!

*** Sorry guys! I can't seem to get the lay-out for this entry right so I had to edit it a few times. I apologize for the gazillion alerts generated by this entry.***

More NYC

2006-01-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

"To the complaint,'There are no people in these photographs,' I respond, 'There are always two people: the photographer and the viewer."

Ansel Adams, US nature photographer

Thanks for the tips in the pics department, as you can see, I utilized your suggestions. I went to an outside FTP and it worked!!!

I also e-mailed Joe about the font color fiasco so I may have that too in no time.

Dinosaurs at the Museum of Natural History. They make my imagination run wild!

Ducks in Central Park. What an oasis in the middle of a concrete jungle!

Madame Liberty made of Lego pieces at the NYC Toys R US.

Bergdorf Goodman's display window in Delft Blue theme. Love the Dutch touch!

The famous Wall Street Bull! I'd say it's the most molested statue in NYC!

$&%#!

2006-01-26T15:19:00.000-08:00

I think my FTP storage is full because it will not let me upload anymore pics. Then again, my color GUI does not work and "You Got Picture" is not downloading, either. I did not complain when the ad banner appeared but the diminishing functionality of AOL Journals is driving me batty!

I do not have a whole day to waste just to update my Journal.

This is the reason for my lack of update for the past few days. I got used to using colors and pics to embellish my Journal and I just can not stand a plain entry anymore.

Maybe it's time to join the crowd and stake my claim to another spot on the blogging frontier. Let me sleep on that...

I Heart NYC

2006-01-05T17:38:00.000-08:00

"Like all great travelers, I have seen more than I remember, and remember more than I have seen." ~Benjamin Disraeli

A musician with a homemade instrument performing Christmas tunes at NYC subway. His instrument was crudely crafted from a can, a curtain rod and four strings but sounded like a weird mix of bass, cello and violin. Awesome!

Flowers and plants for sale at the Union Square Farmers' Market. Can you believe that two dozen roses only cost $10.00 in NYC?

Lower Eastside's Artists' Sidewalk Gallery. Doesn't this look like Paris? There are some great as well mediocre artists using different mediums selling their labors of love here.

Country in the city. A stall owned by a vendor selling dried flower arrangements and chili wreaths.

Remember this? This vendor is selling plaster replicas of the famous "skyscrapers'-construction-workers-taking-a-mile-high-break" scenario.

More to come. Stay tuned. Same station. Same Bat Channel.

Shortlived Moveable Feast

2006-01-02T12:15:00.000-08:00

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness," Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

New York City is a city of harmonic contradictions. It's a blend of the old and the new, the exotic and the familiar, the rich and the poor...

It does not only tell of the tales of two cities but of multiple ones. This little city can take you to all the seven continents on a walking tour. Go to Chinatown and learn something about Asia. Walk to Little Italy and get a glimpse of the European lifestyle. Visit the little galleries and shops in Chelsea, SoHo, Greenwich and East Villages, and at Union Square to find interesting arts, artifacts, products and oddities from Australia, Antartica, Africa, and South America!

No other city can be as divisive as NYC. Its little pockets makes you aware of the gap between the haves and the have-nots. A neighborhood in Park Avenue contrasts greatly to one in Clinton, Brooklyn or even the Lower Eastside. A lady in floorlength fur coat alights from her chauffeured Mercedes next to a dirty and unshaven homeless man on a Fifth Avenue curb. NYC showcases the many ironies of life.

This is not a scene from Hong Kong or China. It's from NYC Chinatown. It's like going to a foreign country. Advertisements and conversations in Mandarin, Cantonese and Fookien! This place's ambience is very exotic and intoxicating!

This is the Cantonese chef at the chinese restaurant in Mott Street. He looks like an unhappy fellow but he sure can cook Cantonese dishes with magic!

Back to the English speaking side of NYC. This is in the vicinity of Times Square. Neon lights and advertisements are on 24/7. Big city atmosphere. Can be disorienting for the out-of-town visitors. A lot of neck craning to check out skyscrapers.

Yes, Virginia, Einstein lives in NYC! Darling Son with his hero at Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum. They look so charming together.

He also found my hero, Ernest Hemingway! He writes like an angel and looks like one, too. Too bad, he's made of wax and he's too big to carry on a plane.

The exterior of the Empire State Building. I took this because I like its contrast with the older buildings near it. This is NYC at its finest, a harmonic contradiction. The old stands proud next to the new. The rich walks in same streets as the poor.

NYC skyline as viewed from the observatory atop the Empire State Building. I did not feel like Ann Darrow in King Kong upon reaching the 80+ floor where the circular observatory is situated. I did not fear heights until I looked below. All I can think of was: "I am dead/minced meat if this breeze sweeps me off this ledge!!!"

More to come. Stay tuned. Same station. Same Bat Channel.

Happy 2006!

2006-01-01T11:51:00.000-08:00

Arrived back in Florida intact and full of New York stories. The kids walked around NYC barefoot and sporting their bib overalls to my mother-in-law's chagrin (Just kidding!).

New York City is awesome. I would not mind living there. Actually, I looked at lofts' prices in the Chelsea area and told my hubby that the next time a hurricane strikes our neck of the woods, I am moving to NYC.

Where to start weaving my tales of NYC adventures? There is so much to absorb and see in a very little cosmopolitan city! Going there is like going to Venice. You leave the city with a heavy heart knowing that you missed 2/3 of the sights you wanted to see.

We stayed at the Marriott Marquis smack dab in the middle of the Great White Way and fronting Times Square. It's next door to the MTV Studios. It was great because there was a public transportation strike the first two days we were there (spoken in cynical tone). We made a mistake of taking a taxi to take us to Chinatown. They (taxis) have the transport monopoly so they were charging heaven and earth to go anywhere outside of Manhattan. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our Chinatown forays and ate like little southern piggies. Cantonese and Schezuan foods are marvelous. The dimsums are like what we used to get in Hong Kong and the best thing is the price. Peking ducks and charsui (chinese barbeque) hangs in restaurant windows and the freshness of the ingredients in even the simplest of dishes was heavenly.

I am a foodie and the NY experience is wonderful because of the array of ethnic foods available in such a small city. Yes, we also went to Little Italy and sampled some of its gastronomical delights. We also had Irish, Indian, Greek, and all sorts of Mediterreanean foods. I am getting hungry so I need to leave the subject of foods for now.

The sights and shopping possibilities are endless. The kids loved FAO Swartz and Toys R Us. We all enjoyed the museums, the Broadway shows, Central Park, Rockefeller Center, Empire State Building, the TV studios, the modern buildings and classical churches, Madame Liberty, the Wall Street Bull, the street musicians and performers, the subway system, and many other fabulous multi-sensory experiences.

I have tons of NYC pics but I have yet to manipulate them so they will be of the right size. I tried downloading them in the FTP but it was taking too long.

Happy New Year everyone!!!!

Floridians in Big Apple

2005-12-20T06:50:00.000-08:00

"Certainly, travel is more than seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." ~Miriam Beard

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime."
--Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad (1869)

AOL's add-an-entry feature does not work well this morning. It will not let me change font color. No time to whine to Joe (AOL Journal Editor and techie god). We are headed to NYC and there is a public transport strike. But NOTHING can dampen my spirits. I am beside myself and looking forward to my first trip to the Big Apple.

I will try to download pics and what nots while I am there.

My mother-in-law's advice: "Make sure the kids have their shoes on. Don't pack their bib overalls."

Happy Holidays to everyone!

Simpler Holidays

2005-12-13T08:27:00.000-08:00

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

-King Whitney Jr

Our kids have grown and the gift giving mode in our household changed this year. Instead of buying expensive gifts for each other, we bought tickets for the family to go to New York City. We’re spending our Christmas holiday there.

Christmas is just so commercialized now-a-days and the older the kids get, the heftier are the price tags for the gifts they want. We put our foot down and decreed that we will make memories this year instead of subscribing to materialism full on. Instead of buying each other gifts, we wrote a check to help Red Cross on its ongoing hurricane drives and donated some to USO to help deployed young military people pay for their airfares.

Thorstein Veblen was right on track about his conspicuous consumption theory. We are ashamed to admit that wewere once caught in the waves of consumerism and technological ostentation. We went to the department stores/malls and braved the holiday crowds to get that perfect gift for each other. We spent so much money on things that did not even give us joy after a week of having it.

This is not a change of philosophy because of necessity. We are at the point in our lives where we can go out and get what we want if we want to. We reflected on past Christmases we’ve had that were centered on the material bounty and we want to take a step towards what we hope is a higher plane. We still want gifts but we want those from the heart.

This year, we will try to celebrate Christmas’ real meaning: sharing, giving, and togetherness. We will make memories to be treasured for eternity. We hope our kids will take their children on vacations at familiar places and say, “Your grandfather and grandmother took us here and we did this.” Each of us is giving each other the gift of time so we can share a memory-making adventure together.

For friends and families: we bought consumables, baked cookies, made personal gifts and we’ll be visiting some. For our nephews and nieces: we got them gift cards from their favorite stores. Yes, that is all we are going to do this year. It is actually liberating to do away with all the holiday spending. We look at people who are frantically searching for that perfect store bought gift for that special someone and feel sadness welling in us. We were once those people.

Happy Holidays!

Kids Made Me Do It!

2005-12-08T09:00:00.000-08:00

“You can tell that it's infatuation when you think that he's as sexy as Paul Newman, as athletic as Pete Rose, as selfless and dedicated as Ralph Nader, as smart as John Kenneth Galbraith and as funny as Don Rickles. You can be reasonably sure that it's love when you realize he's actually about as sexy as Don Rickles, as athletic as Ralph Nader, as smart as Pete Rose, as funny as John Kenneth Galbraith and doesn't resemble Paul Newman in any way--but you'll stick with him anyway."

-Judith Viorst

My teenagers are constantly falling in and out of “love.” I just have to keep my mouth shut though I am tempted to say, “You do not know what love means, kid!”

Does anybody really knows what love means? Isn’t it one of those emotions that only the “lover” could define? My definition of love may not be yours kind of thing?

I believe that most love begins with infatuation. Love is not blind, infatuation is. When you are infatuated, you only see the positives and your blinders filter the negatives. Then the biochemical induced high of infatuation fades and reality strikes. Suddenly he is not that great anymore. He has a funny way of chewing his food. He isa miser. He is not as brilliant as you thought he was. This is when a lot of couples that thought they are “in love” start arguing. That very smile that made you smitten as a kitten now annoys the beJesus out of you. This is the transitional phase where infatuation may turn into a break-up or love.

A lot of people succumb to infatuation addiction. They break up with their partners when the rush of dopamine is depleted. They want to experience that high again and again so they have series of short-term relationships. They are no better than drug addicts because they are chemically dependent too. The only difference is that they do not have to pay for it because their bodies manufacture the chemicals. Some would say that these people are addicted to love. They are not. They are addicted to the biological chemicals induced by infatuation.

Love is the more mature and reality based by-product of infatuation. You see the positive as well as the negative traits of your partner but you keep them around anyway. You look at the whole package and decide that nobody is perfect and you will take him as is. It does not mean you will not nag him into changing but after a while you will just give in and rationalize the flaw as a character enhancement feature. There’re days that you will question your sanity because you find his double chin “cute” and his burgeoning middle “sexy.” Love is not blind: its sight is 20/20. Love is crazy: it consciously accepts, challenges, and defies reality.

***THE OPINION EXPRESSED ABOVE IS THAT OF THE AUTHOR’S. FEEL FREE TO DISCUSS YOUR OWN TAKE ON THIS SUBJECT***

Time Flies!

2005-12-01T08:28:00.000-08:00

Happy 15th Birthday, J!

Smiley Faced Genius

Almond shaped brown eyes

Full of mischief

Freckled smiling face

Sometimes goofy

Happy and young

Seemingly shallow

You surprise everyone

With intrepid wisdom

Bittersweet Memory

2005-11-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."

~ Neil Gaiman, as Rose Walker in Sandman #65

The passage above reminded me of my disenchantment with love long time ago. I hated love for a few years but a special man saved me from living the rest of my life as an old and bitter spinster.

When I was young, my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I walked away from both of them. I chose not to be a part their drama and refused to see them everagain. I was bitter for a while and it took a lot for another man to convince me that I will not be betrayed again.

My friends voiced concerns about my "man hating" tendencies. I told them I did not hate men; I just did not need unnecessary distractions at that moment. I was in denial. I did not withdraw from love but I approached it with Machiavellian bravado for self- protection. I kept men at arms length and scrutinized their intention to the minute detail. I feigned disinterest in their lives so I will not get attached. It took a while for me to be comfortable in a relationship. I dumped them or gave them cold shoulder as soon as I started liking them. I took care of not getting hurt again by being cynical. Only a few men with remarkable patience stayed around but not for long. I always succeeded in driving them away. Some of them thought I was vicious and heartless. I was even called "Ice Princess" and "Dragon Lady."

One person saw through my facade and challenged me to seek closure. "Someone hurt you real bad, huh? I know there is a wonderful person lurking behind that smirking face," he said one day. I employed my best defense mechanisms on him but he was persistent. The more I spurned him, the more insistent he became. He told me he was not going away until I showed my true color. Then one day, my annoyance turned into admiration of this man's tenacity. I told him about my experience with loving someone. He told me not all men are the same. He said he had experienced similar betrayal. He helped me dismantle the wall I surrounded myself for a long time. He showed me that I do not have to hate love.

Single Lily with Red Note Card- Georgia O'Keeffe

Gobble, gobble...

2005-11-23T19:34:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving!

Sad But Wonderful

2005-11-18T17:06:00.000-08:00

I spent a wonderful evening crying my eyes out. Sad, but what an awesome and well-deserved night!

I went to the showing of the Broadway production of Miss Saigon last night with the whole family. I should had been a little more unemotional because I have seen the play before. I guess knowing the story line did not make me more objective but set me up and cued me when to reach out for the Kleenex in my purse. At first, I debated on the whether I should get a ticket for my teenage son because of the adult content/language and violence portrayed in the play. Then, I decided, he might as well see the dark side of humanity through someone's creative endeavour. He is very active in the local theatre so he has a clear sense of what is real and what is art. He came out of it unscathed and without a need for a shrink. He enjoyed the play tremendously. My daughter was with us and I can proudly say that she is mine. She is a crybaby just like me. She said, "It makes me real emotional to hear someone who can sing beautifully." I know it was more than that, the child gets lost in a play and becomes the heroine and feels for her. I know the feeling. I've been Kim, Cosette, Stella, Grizabella and so many others. I'm talking in theatre only. I dispose of my split personality after leaving the theatre's portal. Ah, the hubby's reaction. This I can write a book about. He is a typical man. He feigns distaste and disinterest in art in fear of being seen as effeminate. He hides behind macho critiques of the play and pokes fun on the overdressed/pretentious theatregoers. Behind the facade, his wife could see a manly man who enjoys the performing arts. The family needed this night out after the trauma of the weeks past. We even brought out some of our dysfunction in the car on the way home. Once again, our love for each other won out and we were better people when we kissed each other goodnight.

All's Well, I Hope...

2005-11-15T11:58:00.000-08:00

Mother and Daughter by Hua Chen

"Don't you ever ask them why. If they told you, you would cry. So just look at them and sigh. And know they love you." ~Graham Nash

Sorry for the lack of update. I think when the body, mind, and soul goes through a trauma, it manifests a psychosomatic response. My daughter was discharged from the hospital last Saturday and I started feeling rotten and had been nursing a nasty cold since then.

My daughter went to a follow up visit yesterday and was pronounced well and on her way to full recovery. She was told not to over-exert herself and rest when she is tired. She is still on various meds for the next 2 weeks but the Doc thinks she will be able to resume her hard charging teenage life in about 4 or 5 weeks. For now, she will be staying home with me until I can fatten her up. She looks a tad too emaciated at this time.

She went to school today. I drove her to her first class this morning. I told her that it is OK if she feels tired after the first one or second one and to call me to pick her up if she started feeling unwell. So far, so good. She has not called yet.

Thank you to all those who sent their best wishes, hugs, and prayers through blog comments, e-mails and phone calls. You guys are the best!

Phoenix Rising

2005-11-08T15:20:00.000-08:00

"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. " -Harold Wilson

It had been a harrowing week. My daughter had been at a hospital since Tuesday last week.

She drove to Tallahassee and Orlando for the weekend and came back on a Sunday evening. She said she started throwing up on the way back to her dorm. She thought she ate something that did not agree with her so she went to sleep. She woke up on Monday with a stomach pain so she went to the emergency room. They told her that she was just dehydrated from the trip so they intravenously hydrated her and sent her back to her dorm. She was supposed to have dinner with me that day and see her brother's Stage Fright show. She did not show up so I left several messages on her cell phone to give me a call. I told myself that she must be exhausted from all the malaise so she was sleeping it off.

The next morning, I was just so worried about her that I left another message on her cell phone stating that I was worried about her and that I will break into her dorm if I do not hear from her immediately. My cell phone rang after a few minutes. It was my daughter. She said that she was still feeling really bad and her vomiting and stomach pain seemed to have intensified. I picked her up from her dorm and brought her to the emergency room. An emergency room doctor immediately saw her because she was doubled in pain and was spewing greenish fluid all over the waiting room.

I was told that she probably had a viral gastroenteritis, food poisoning or an intestinal obstruction. They ran several tests on her including x-rays and EKGs. They gave her more saline IVs and some meds for her vomiting. She was still in great pain, still vomiting and generally miserable by that evening. I was told that all they can do was wait because intestinal obstruction was ruled out and time will take care of the other two diagnoses.

All these times, she was feverish, and her heart rate and blood pressure started creeping up. She looked delirious and in pain. I never felt as helpless and scared in my life. I knew there was something wrong with her but I could not do anything about it. She was admitted to the Intensive Care Unit before midnight. They gave her sleeping pills and some pain medication and the vigil started.

She woke up early the next morning with the same symptoms: stomach pain, vomiting and diarrhea. She still had a high fever, plummeting heart rate and erratic blood pressure. She was in a bad way. At 10 AM her stomach ballooned as if she was in her third trimester and she was disoriented. Several specialists were called to the floor and suddenly a swarm of technicians with portable CT scanners, EKGs and other medical equipments were all over her. I watched the commotion with an overwhelming fear. One of the specialists, a surgeon, told me that there seem to be a lot of fluid in her stomach and he needed to do a surgery on her to find out what was going on. He told me about the possibilities: a leaky intestine, a diseased ovary, liver or kidney, a stomach cancer or a ruptured appendix. He said the surgery needed to be done at that moment because my daughter could die from any of the possible diagnoses without it.

They started preparing her for the surgery and when the nasogastric tube was inserted in her and her nose started bleeding, I broke down. I told the medical staff that I was going outside because I do not want her to see me that way. My daughter did not cry or exhibit any fear and I was glad because I probably would need to be sedated if I ever see her scared and in more pain. The operating room nurse walked with me and told me that she will call me during and after the operation to let me know what was going on.

The operation was a success. The surgeons opened an eight inches incision on her stomach and found her appendix ruptured. One of the surgeons said all her organs were bathed in bile so they cleaned her insides up and took care of the appendix remains.

She was transferred back to ICU where she was put on a regimen of intravenous antibiotic, narcotic drip, saline solution and potassium chloride. Yesterday, her vital signs were back to normal, she was able to get up and walk, and she had her first intake of fluids. She was transferred to a regular hospital room. She seemed to be doing well, but this morning she started having high-grade fever indicative of infection. The surgeon said that she might have an abscess in her incision site so a CT scan will be done and a tube will be inserted to drain fluids off the abscess.

That was how I spent my week: on my toes trying very hard not to have a nervous breakdown or cardiac arrest. I would not wish it to happen to my worst enemy. The fear of losing a child is a mother’s worst nightmare. Iam still worried about her but I have known this child all her life. She is a fighter. She will be well, and out and about soon.

To My Daughter

2005-10-31T22:37:00.000-08:00

Because Dr. Seuss puts it together better than I can...

Oh, the Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH! THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whateverthey are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

A-hauntin' J-Land

2005-10-29T17:17:00.000-07:00

There's some haunting going on in J-Land. J-Landers banded together to visit journals and spread tricks or treats. Do not be TP-ed. Visit as many J-Landers as possible and bring goodwill and the goodies!

My son is part of a local theatre production, "Stage Fright ." They put together a "Fright Night" haunted house to raise funds for the performing arts foundation in our community. He is a zombie prison guard for the "Josea's Jailhouse Rock" segment. He is the hideous creature below.

Happy Haunting!!!!

Awwwwwwww!

2005-10-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

My son and his homecoming date.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”
~Kahlil Gibran